Lexi misses Japan.



(photo from Okinawa Soba's flickr)

Old Ladies

I had two experiences with two different stranger old ladies recently. It went something like this:

1. I was at work, and went to Zions Mercantile for lunch. My friend Chantelle was working, and so I was talking to her instead of ordering - nobody was in line, and I couldn't decide on what to order anyways. And we were talking about our affinity for the N Town Pageant. Well, this old lady comes in line behind me, and I could tell that she knew what she wanted so I moved out of the way. She thought she had butted in front of me! She was so embarrassed. I explained that I was just talking to my friend, I wasn't ready to order yet blah dee blah...but she wouldn't believe me! She kept saying she had been really rude by butting, no matter how much I assured her that it was completely fine. After she ordered and when I finally decided, I realized I was about 50 cents short. So I decided to change what I wanted. But she had overheard me and stuffed 50 cents in my hand.
"That's to say sorry for getting in front of you". It made me feel really good.

2. The final night of Vocal Point's performances, and the night that my dear friend Sarah got back from Utah, we decided to go out to Annie's Custard after the concert. All the people from the concert got there before us, and we were pretty much at the back of the line. Another family from our ward was right behind us, with a group of old people behind this family. The line was moving slowly. Then my friend Jordy, working behind the counter yells,
"I'm sorry everyone, but we just ran out of vanilla!"
grrr. The chocolate isn't as good. But oh well. Then I hear the dad of this family say to the old people behind us,
"Our family lives here, and so do the girls in front of us and so we can come get the custard another time. You can get in front of us, and I'm sure these nice girls will let you go in front of them too."
Oh well again. I wasn't super mad about it, but it wasn't my idea and I was forced into it...but you have to be nice to the tourists, right?. And what do you think happens? They run out of chocolate custard just after the old people. Not a drop of custard left. I was very very disappointed. And Jordy is a close friend, so I asked him if he had just one little spoonful of chocolate left (in a whiny voice). Then I realized an old lady from the group had heard what I said. I was rather embarrassed. She turns to me and it looks like she's going to apologize and make me feel guilty. But no. She says something in a rude voice about how we live here and they don't and we can come get some more anytime we want. After I had let her go in front of me...this just made it worse. Yes, I could come another time, but it was late at night, and we had been waiting in line for a very long time. I was cranky, and what she said did not help my mood at all. So I did a wincy smile and pretended that I didn't care. She didn't make me feel so good.

The moral of the story is, maybe the first lady I mentioned gets taken advantage of because she's so nice, but I want to be more like her - now, and especially when I'm a little old lady (I'm already little, so I know I will be one). I want the people around me to feel good after they've been around me. Even if it's a complete stranger in a restaurant or on the street that I don't know. None of this "I'll never see them again anyways" sort of attitude. And not that the second lady did anything horribly mean, and most of it was my attitude. But it still wasn't pleasant.

N Town Pride

Yes, this is where I live. And I'm proud of it. It's like living at Disneyland because it's a tourist attraction, but you never get tired of it. I learn something new each day. Because the seminary cycles are different in Japan and here, I skipped D&C and will get Book of Mormon twice. I was sad about skipping it, and was explaining this to my parents. And they go, "silly lexi, you live in D&C land!" that made me feel silly indeed.

The pageant started on Tuesday, and I went 4 days. I only missed 1. Tuesday night, opening night, it poured rain, but I stayed anyways. Kudos to them for acting in the rain.

A few weeks ago I got a little overwhelmed about having to go to youth conference for 3 days and then being in the pageant for 2 whole weeks after that (right after we get home), and have guests stay at our house. That was 2 and a half weeks of work I was missing! My personal space would be invaded! But now I'm excited to take a break from restocking fudge double for all the pageant tourists, and to have the sweet temptation away from me (maybe lose some weight from not eating fudge...just maybe).

Now I get to meet new people, my grandparents get to be in the cast with us. I love them so much. I'll get to know the core cast better. It just might end up being better than EFY.

I love it when tourists come into the fudge factory and can't believe that I actually live here. I must have been imported to work here from Utah. There's no other explanation! I go on to explain how many non-missionary people live in N Town, how far away our high school is, but how I love living here. And then from the other side, how kids at our new high school didn't understand us. Like how they thought that we all wear pioneer clothes still because of the missionaries they have seen that dress up. It makes me giggle. I love explaining N Town to anybody. I can never get tired of it.

The fudge factory is just a few steps away from the temple. I just have to step outside the front door at work and it's like boom. And now that the pageant has started, the bagpipers walk around town. They stop right across the street from the fudge factory at a certain time each morning. So I always ask to go water the plants out front the second I see them. The watering can can never seem to fill up fast enough and I feel like I'm going to miss them.

I was looking back in my journal from a year ago when we moved here. I was so upset that my parents were moving me again, making it so the first 3 years of high school for me were in 3 different schools. I was so angry and bitter. Even though I knew my parents felt prompted to move here. But like Robert Laird in the pageant, Nauvoo has started to heal me. Against my own will. It all started when I first got here in the middle of July with no friends, a house to be unpacked, the weather hot and muggy, and nothing to do in the city (haha that sounds silly now. there's so much to do here). But I had nothing to do, so I went to the pageant every night. That's where it all started.

I've changed so much just from living here this past year. Obviously there's a lot more I want to change, and it makes me antsy. I wrote about the pageant so much in my journal last year. There was so much I had already forgotten. But I can't believe it's been a whole year and the pageant has snuck up on me again. I love it so much. I wasn't planning on going every night, but now I have. It's like part of my daily routine now. I plan my day around it. I invite all my friends to come watch it with me. No matter how tired me and Chantelle get from work, we both go to the pageant every night. I love seeing her there. This is the place to live. And I live on the best street in Nauvoo. I try and take a walk down it as often as I can. It's such a peaceful road. I like to think about my ancestors that walked down it in February 1846. It's funny to think that I'm back where they lived. They were so sad to leave this city. They must have been so full of despair.

And last of all, I love the beautiful temple so close. At EFY on night last year, our counselors made us stand in front of it all lit up. (None of the other groups got to do this). They told us that if the saints hadn't made their temple covenants right before they left, they probably wouldn't have made the long journey. I just sat there and thought about how I wouldn't have been there right then if not for that temple. So it is very special to me now. I'm grateful to my ancestors and my parents that moved me here.

N Town pride forever

Have you ever wondered what happened to the 56 men who signed the
Declaration of Independence?


Five signers were captured by the British as traitors, and tortured before
they died.


Twelve had their homes ransacked and burned.


Two lost their sons serving in the Revolutionary Army; another had two sons
captured.


Nine of the 56 fought and died from wounds or hardships of the
Revolutionary War.


They signed and they pledged their lives, their fortunes, and their sacred
honor.


What kind of men were they?


Twenty-four were lawyers and jurists.


Eleven were merchants, nine were farmers and large plantation owners; men
of means, well educated, but they signed the Declaration of Independence
knowing full well that the penalty would be death if they were captured.


Carter Braxton of Virginia, a wealthy planter and trader, saw his ships
swept from the seas by the British Navy. He sold his home and properties to
pay his debts, and died in rags.


Thomas McKeam was so hounded by the British that he was forced to move his
family almost constantly. He served in the Congress without pay, and his
family was kept in hiding. His possessions were taken from him, and
poverty was his reward.


Vandals or soldiers looted the properties of Dillery, Hall, Clymer, Walton,
Gwinnett, Heyward, Ruttledge, and Middleton.


At the battle of Yorktown, Thomas Nelson, Jr., noted that the British
General Cornwallis had taken over the Nelson home for his headquarters. He
quietly urged General George Washington to open fire. The home was
destroyed, and Nelson died bankrupt.


Francis Lewis had his home and properties destroyed. The enemy jailed his
wife, and she died within a few months.


John Hart was driven from his wife's bedside as she was dying. Their 13
children fled for their lives. His fields and his gristmill were laid to
waste. For more than a year he lived in forests and caves, returning home
to find his wife dead and his children vanished.


So, please take a few minutes while enjoying your 4th of July holiday and
thank these patriots. It's not much to ask for the price they paid.

..:..:..:..:..:..:..:..:..:..:..:..:..:..:..:..:..:..:..:..:..:..:..:..:..:..:..:..:..:..:..:..:..:..:..:..:..

It always makes me wonder, how many would people actually do this today? It's a rainy 4th of July today. But I don't mind it. My best friend's Amber's older sister Sage is getting married in the N Temple today. I'm so excited to go to their reception! I will post pictures later! Have a very very good day!

N Stake Girls Camp 2009

I was at my 6th and final year of Girls Camp from June 23-27. Me and Tashi were the only youth leaders from our ward. I wasn't excited to go, because none of the girls in my ward were my age, and all the girls my age from other wards weren't going (making me have more responsibilities at camp), I didn't grow up with these girls, and didn't go to school with any of them, unlike my past 2 stakes. There were 7 girls from our ward that went: Eliza, Briana, Lis, and Katie. Our camp was 45 minutes out of St. Louis, Missouri. That was hottest week of the summer. The temperature was in the 90s, with a heat index of 110 degrees because of the humidity. We were all sweating profusely like sweaty pigs and guzzling down liquids.

We met at the Halxxxx's house at 8:30 am the first morning. Sister Halxxxx is from our ward, and in charge of buying all the food for the whole stake. That is a huge responsibility, I don't know how she did it. She didn't complain once, even though she was stuck in the kitchens with the hot ovens the whole time. So on the way to Girls Camp, we stopped at Sam's Club and helped her shop for everything. It was a lot of food for 200 people for 11 meals. We ate lunch there too. Their berry shakes make me happy inside. Our camp was called Camp Sherwood.

I got really homesick on my first day of camp, like I always do . I don't like camping at all, so thank goodness for the spiritual stuff and friends. Kennedy and her mom Gloria came too. I was so excited for Gloria to come. Me and Tashi had to give devotionals every night for our ward and were in charge of teaching certification classes for the younger girls. We were hoping it would cool down during the week, but to no avail. It didn't cool down much at night, and it was very hard to fall asleep and stay that way. It didn't rain at all the whole time we were there too, which is a miracle! It rains so much here. If it would've rained, it would've cooled down, but the humidity would've gone up, the mosquitoes would've come, we'd hahve been muddy, stuck in our cabins...not a pretty picture.

We had so much to eat at all of our meals. And there was so much junk food. And I was bloated with liquids. I gained so much weight there I think. I didn't get many bug bites either. Our first lesson was really good. It was about listening. And if you don't listen to people who need to be, you are depriving them of psychological oxygen. The second lesson we learned to have a perfect heart, and in the 3rd & last lesson, I learned that faith is a prerequisite for purity. Sister Skog came from our ward to teach a hair braiding class. I learned how to tie knots on top of your head. In my second class, I learned how to make homemade Almond Joys. They were so good. My last class was yoga. But I forgot that I had signed up for it, and forgot a yoga mat. And I was dumb and wore tight jean shorts to the class instead of stretchy, comfortable pants. And I'm already inflexible, so I could barely do these stretches without feeling like I was going to rip my pants. And it was making me sweat a lot for some reason, I was using somebody elses's gross mat, and I was thinking, why did I sign up for this again??? When all of the sudden, our teacher made us do some really relaxing stretches on our back. Then we were told to just lay flat on our back and close our eyes and focus on our breathing. She made us do it for 15 minutes, so of course we all fell asleep. I felt so good when I woke up.

The first day, I only sat on the beach of the lake, but the next 2 days I was in the water!!! It was really gross, but it never got too deep, and cooled you down. The lake was for all the surrounding camp grounds, so there were people with tattoos and alcohol and cigarettes and boyfriends and girlfriends all over each other in the water, and it was like, WE'RE AT GIRLS CAMP!!! This is not supposed to be happening! It's funny how seperated from the world you become at Girls Camp. There was also zip-lining and spelunking in caves, but I didn't do either of those.

And I finished reading the Book of Mormon while I was at camp. I had started at the end of January. One of the nights, we had a youth leader meeting, and we ate so much candy that I got sick to my stomach. We had flushing toilets, showers, and no campfires. We slept in cabins with bunks. A few wards were in charge of each meal for the whole stake. So it wasn't really roughing it except for the heat.

We planned our skit last minute. We got it on video. Tashi was a character called Mr. Tashimoto. It was hilarious. All of the skits were hilarious. I wish we could have filmed them all. I got a little tan from going to the lake.

I am so glad Gloria was at camp. She was my positivity and humor that I needed to get me through. We had to show the Bishopric our skit when they came up the last night. Our Bishop reminded us to stay virtuous and to remember there was a boy being prepared out there to marry us someday. I thought we were going to have a testimony meeting with them, but we didn't. And I had taught the girls about testimonies, so I was a little disappointed. I thought if I brought it up, people wouldn't want to. After the Bishopric left, we went back to our cabin. Eliza, who isn't even quite 12 yet, asked if we could have a testimony meeting right then and she wanted to go first. And her testimony was so cute. And then we all followed after her. I had such pure, innocent girls at camp that obeyed me. (Maybe I had to remind a few times, but nobody disobeyed me).

What if I get called as a leader next year???!!!!

Smell Goods

Yes, my mom is not happy that I shop at Victoria's Secret. But I don't go there for the gross stuff. I go because I love their smell good stuff. I just like smelling good. My friend Amber's British boyfriend (if that didn't confuse you) made me go buy some of it for her because he's coming out to visit in a week. And I was running out of my own, so it was perfect. It smells so sweet. Me and Amber both love it. They are having a huge sale for all their different scents.

On another note, I hate the smell of Axe. I hate hate hate it. It makes me gag. And gives me a headache. It is not pleasant.

New shirts

After I put half of my first paycheck away for college, we went to Q town to go shopping. They have small mall and Old Navy there. I usually don't like Old Navy clothes, but I loved the tshirts with the puff sleeves. Tashi got a royal blue version of it, and it is so cute!!! Both of these shirts are on sale, in lots of different colors. They're comfy and feminine!!! Go check it out

Holy Things

These are just some various things that I have learned this week:

A morally clean life is important if you want to enjoy peace, happiness, and self-esteem. The battle for our souls is exceedingly fierce. The adversary is strong and cunning. Sin is sin!

Pray vocally as well as in your heart. When you do not cry unto the Lord, let your hearts be full, drawn out in prayer continually.

Virtue is not only having chaste thoughts, but pure thoughts, that are full of truth.

Prayer is something to enjoy.

The body is to be kept pure and holy. Do not be afraid of soiling its hands in honest labor. Do not be afraid of scars that may come in defending the truth or fighting for the right, but beware scars that spiritually difigure.

And then we had several ladies from our ward each give a talk on divine nature for mutual last week. One of them said something I really like: Eternal marriage isn't just getting married in the temple. It's working hard for it everyday after you get married, to keep it together for eternity because you know you just can't throw it away like any marriage outside of the temple.

Lexi Lou and the Chocolate Factory

Finally, here are some pictures of my work at the fudge factory:

Here, Eli is slicing up fudge. This looks like the peanut butter.

They rotate the batches of fudge on the marble table tops.

These are my cinnamon bears drowning in chocolate. (These chocolate cinnamon bears are irresistible. My flash went off so the chocolate is a weird color.)

This poor little bear was deformed, so I let Eli eat it and put it out of its misery before the general public could see it and humiliate it.

Eli washing the bars that hold the fudge while it sets up on the tables. Eli's my best friend and so I have a lot of fun working with him.

The log of peanut butter fudge before Eli started cutting it up

It's very tedious to make these cinnamon bears, and a lot of them get ruined. Those mats that they're hardening on are from France, and cost $60 a piece. They're very fragile. A lot of people comment on how expensive they are ($4 for 8 oz bag - about 20 pieces). But for how juicy good they are, and how they are all hand-dipped, I think it's worth it. The ties on the baggies say I ♥ Chocolate. They're so cute.

The fudge factory sells bags of flavored licorice. We cut them in half and dip them in chocolate. It's a $1.25 for 12 licorice nubs. They're so colorful on that little mat. It makes me happy.

A full log og fudge waiting to be sliced.

The flavors are: Chocolate Pecan, Chocolate Walnut, Vanilla Pecan, Plain Chocolate, Strawberries and Cream, Chocolate Mint, Penuche, Rocky Road, German Chocolate, Maple Walnut, Peanut Butter, Chocolate Peanut Butter, Dark Chocolate Orange, and Dark Chocolate.

It's definitely a place to stop in N Town. People come every year. My favorite are the chocolate covered pretzels.

Virtue

Virtue is a pattern of thought and behavior based on high moral standards. It includes chastity and purity. The power to create mortal life is an exalted power God has given His children. He has commanded that this power be used only between and man and a woman, lawfully wedded as husband and wife.

"And notwithstanding this great abomination of the Lamanites, it doth not exceed that of our people in Moriantum. For behold, many of our daughters of the Lamanites have they taken prisoners; and after depriving them of that which was most dear and precious above all other things, which was chastity and virtue - " Moroni 9:9

"For I, the Lord God, delight in the chastity of women. And whoredoms are an abomination before me; thus saith the Lord of Hosts." Jacob 2:28

"We, the First Presidency and the Council of the Twelve Apostles of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, solemnly proclaim that marriage between a man and a woman is ordained of God and that the family is central to the Creator’s plan for the eternal destiny of His children.

All human beings—male and female—are created in the image of God. Each is a beloved spirit son or daughter of heavenly parents, and, as such, each has a divine nature and destiny. Gender is an essential characteristic of individual premortal, mortal, and eternal identity and purpose.

In the premortal realm, spirit sons and daughters knew and worshipped God as their Eternal Father and accepted His plan by which His children could obtain a physical body and gain earthly experience to progress toward perfection and ultimately realize their divine destiny as heirs of eternal life. The divine plan of happiness enables family relationships to be perpetuated beyond the grave. Sacred ordinances and covenants available in holy temples make it possible for individuals to return to the presence of God and for families to be united eternally.

The first commandment that God gave to Adam and Eve pertained to their potential for parenthood as husband and wife. We declare that God’s commandment for His children to multiply and replenish the earth remains in force. We further declare that God has commanded that the sacred powers of procreation are to be employed only between man and woman, lawfully wedded as husband and wife.

We declare the means by which mortal life is created to be divinely appointed. We affirm the sanctity of life and of its importance in God’s eternal plan.

Husband and wife have a solemn responsibility to love and care for each other and for their children. “Children are an heritage of the Lord” (Psalm 127:3). Parents have a sacred duty to rear their children in love and righteousness, to provide for their physical and spiritual needs, and to teach them to love and serve one another, observe the commandments of God, and be law-abiding citizens wherever they live. Husbands and wives—mothers and fathers—will be held accountable before God for the discharge of these obligations.

The family is ordained of God. Marriage between man and woman is essential to His eternal plan. Children are entitled to birth within the bonds of matrimony, and to be reared by a father and a mother who honor marital vows with complete fidelity. Happiness in family life is most likely to be achieved when founded upon the teachings of the Lord Jesus Christ. Successful marriages and families are established and maintained on principles of faith, prayer, repentance, forgiveness, respect, love, compassion, work, and wholesome recreational activities. By divine design, fathers are to preside over their families in love and righteousness and are responsible to provide the necessities of life and protection for their families. Mothers are primarily responsible for the nurture of their children. In these sacred responsibilities, fathers and mothers are obligated to help one another as equal partners. Disability, death, or other circumstances may necessitate individual adaptation. Extended families should lend support when needed.

We warn that individuals who violate covenants of chastity, who abuse spouse or offspring, or who fail to fulfill family responsibilities will one day stand accountable before God. Further, we warn that the disintegration of the family will bring upon individuals, communities, and nations the calamities foretold by ancient and modern prophets.

We call upon responsible citizens and officers of government everywhere to promote those measures designed to maintain and strengthen the family as the fundamental unit of society" - "The Family: A Proclamation to the World"

Physical intimacy between husband and wife is beautiful and sacred. It is ordained of God for the creation of children and for the expression of love between husband and wife. God has commanded that sexual intimacy be reserved for marriage.

When you obey God’s commandment to be sexually pure, you prepare yourself to make and keep sacred covenants in the temple. You prepare yourself to build a strong marriage and to bring children into the world as part of a loving family. You protect yourself from the emotional damage that always comes from sharing physical intimacies with someone outside of marriage.

Do not have any sexual relations before marriage, and be completely faithful to your spouse after marriage. Satan may tempt you to rationalize that sexual intimacy before marriage is acceptable when two people are in love. That is not true. In God’s sight, sexual sins are extremely serious because they defile the power God has given us to create life. The prophet Alma taught that sexual sins are more serious than any other sins except murder or denying the Holy Ghost (see Alma 39:5).

Before marriage, do not do anything to arouse the powerful emotions that must be expressed only in marriage. Do not participate in passionate kissing, lie on top of another person, or touch the private, sacred parts of another person’s body, with or without clothing. Do not allow anyone to do that with you. Do not arouse those emotions in your own body.

In cultures where dating or courting is acceptable, always treat your date with respect, never as an object to be used for your lustful desires. Stay in areas of safety where you can easily control your physical feelings. Do not participate in talk or activities that arouse sexual feelings.

Homosexual activity is a serious sin. If you find yourself struggling with same-gender attraction, seek counsel from your parents and bishop. They will help you.

Victims of rape, incest, or other sexual abuse are not guilty of sin. If you have been a victim of any of these crimes, know that you are innocent and that God loves you. Seek your bishop’s counsel immediately so he can help guide you through the process of emotional healing.

If you are tempted to commit sexual transgressions, seek help from your parents, your bishop, and friends you can trust. Pray to the Lord, who will help you resist temptation and overcome inappropriate thoughts and feelings.

If you have committed sexual transgressions, begin the process of repentance now so you can find inner peace and have the full companionship of the Spirit. Seek the Lord’s forgiveness. Talk with your bishop. He will help you obtain the forgiveness available to those who truly repent. - "Sexual Purity" in The Strength of Youth

"We believe in being hoenst, true, chaste, benevelent, virtuous, and in doing good to all men; indeed we may say that we follow the admonition of Pual - We believe all things, we hope all things, we have endured many things, and hope to be able to endure all things. If there is anything virtuous, lovely, or of good report or praiseworthy, we seek after these things." - Article of Faith number thirteen

"Who can find a virtuous woman? For her price is far above rubies. The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her, so that he shall have no seed of spoil. She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life. She seeketh wool, and flax, and worketh willingly with her hands. She is like the mechants' ships; she bringeth her food from afar. She riseth also while it is yet night, and giveth meat to her household, and a portion to her maidens. She considereth a field, and buyeth it: with the fruit of her hands she planteth a vineyard. She girdeth her loins with strength, and strengtheneth her arms. She pereiveth that her merchandise is good: her candle goeth not out by night. She layeth her hands to the spindle, and her hands hold the distaff. She stretcheth out her hand to the poor: yea, she reaceth forth her hands to the needy. She is not afraid of the snow for her household: for all her household are clothed with scarlet. She maketh herself coverings of tapestry; her clothing is silk and purple. Her husband is known in the gates, when he sitteth among the elders of the land. She maketh fine linen, and selleth it; and delivereth girdles unto the merchant. Strength and honour are her clothing; and she shall rejoice in time to come. She openeth her mouth with wisdom; and in her tongue is the law of kindness. She looketh well to the ways of her household, and eateth not the bread of idleness. Her chidlren arise up, and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praiseth her. Many daughters have done virtuously,but thou excellest them all. Favour is deceitful, and beauty is vain: but a woman that feareth the Lord, she shall be praised. Five her of the fruit of her hands; and let her own works priase her in the gates." Proverbs 31:10-31

ENOUGH SAID

artsy

I want to quilt. But I'm just not in the right mood too. Which doesn't make sense, because I want to. Maybe it's like me wanting to go on a no-sugar diet, but I'm never in the mood to start. I always want to create something beautiful, but feel discouraged that it won't turn out that way. Should I force myself to quilt? I feel like I will never finish my grandmother's flower garden quilt. Or any of the other things I have started.

I feel like I'm not ready for college, and never will be. I only have one year now to be ready. The new school and seminary that I hated has opened up my mind. I thought I learned a lot when I moved to Utah...forget that. I've learned 100 times more here in N town. I didn't think I would make it through the school year, but now I can't believe it's already over.

There's something about N town that always makes you feel at peace. You feel protected and watched over. Sounds cheesy, I know. But I live on the street where all my ancestors had to walk down to the water and cross over to the other side after they were kicked out of their homes. The Trail of Hope. It feels so sacred. The temple is so close. Everytime you pass that corner and it comes into view on s sunny morning, it radiates the white and almost blinds you. I almost go off the road staring at it. You have to pass the temple to go to church from our house. How many people get to do that?

I have had so many spiritual and educational, artisitc opportunities that I have never had before until I moved here. I feel so inspired by all the people around me.

My friend Eli gave a nice talk in sacrament meeting today. He is so spiritual. He always cries during his talks. I know I should ultimately be thinking, what whould Jesus do? But I seriously usually end up thinking, what would Eli do? He's my role model and hero.

I had to give a talk last week on memorial day weekend. We had so many visitors in our ward, the whole cultural hall was filled up too. I couldn't even see how far back the people went. And I only had a couple of days to prepare for my talk. But I learned a lot from it. My favorite thing I got reminded was that Heavenly Father is paying us the ultimate compliment by giving us freedom. And if we just obey, we are protected. Not from adversity, but from being alienated from God. Not to get too deep here. My mind is just going crazy right now.

And we get to go watch one of my favorite movies for family home evening tomorrow night: Joseph Smith, Prophet of the Restoration.

I wish artistic things came to me naturally, and I didn't have to force it.

Start of Summer!!!

I've been avoiding my blog. I always mess around with the html and mess up something. Right now, you can't leave me comments on each individual post. So if you want to leave me comments, please leave it on my tagboard by clicking on the "TAG" to the right.

Anyways. School has been out for a week now. And it's my last summer in high school. I finally got a job at the N town fudge factory. I don't know how I'm going to get enough money for college. ugh. It makes me so stressed that I want to cry. But I love my new job. It's very good paying, good enviroment, I love all the people I'm working with, (2 of them good friends of mine), and who can't be happy with fudge all around you? (And usually the people who come to buy fudge are happy people). Lots of family are coming to visit us while we're in the pageant. And Amber's boyfriend from England will be coming and we'll get to do fun stuff like going to Six Flags. Write on my tagboard!

*edit* ~ later ~
i got my comments to work now. I promise I will be better at updating now.

german pancakes

my favorite breakfast

• 6 eggs
• 1 cup milk
• 1 cup all-purpose flour
• 1/2 teaspoon salt
• 2 tablespoons butter or margarine, melted

Place the eggs, milk, flour and salt in a blender; cover and process until smooth. Pour the butter into an ungreased 13-in. x 9-in. x 2-in. baking dish; add the batter. Bake, uncovered, at 400 degrees F for 20 minutes.

Let's Have a Smarty Parade

There was a banquet at my school on April 1st for juniors and seniors with high GPA's. If you were a junior, your accumulative GPA had to be over 3.7.

So these are the top 10 kids in my grade. I'm good friends with most of them. 2 of the girls are mormon (and were in the play with me), and at least 7 of those kids went to N tpwn high school last year. So the W town kids that were in the top 10 last year were bumped down by all of us N town kids, and they're not too happy about that haha. But kids here are very competitive for their grades. Especially because all of us 10 are in college classes. This was for last semester, and I was #8. But as of 3rd quarter, I got bumped up one place. Hopefully I can keep it until the end of this semester. There are only 60 kids in our grade - but it's very hard to get A's here, especially with our college classes. W town was named "the most improved high school in Illinois" this school year and we were in the news (because of all the awesome smarty pants N town kids!)

The Rest of My Life

This is exactly how I feel right now:

Lookin' Forward From Center Stage, Graduation Day, Time To Get The Future Started!
What We Leave, What We Take With Us,
No Matter What, It's Somethin' We're Apart Of!
We Learn To Fly.
Together Side-By-Side. I Just Want The Rest Of My Life, To Feel As Good As My,

High School Musical,
Lets Celebrate Where We Come From!
With Friends Who've Been There All Along, Just Like,
Our High School, High School Musical!

Improvisation Without A Script, No Ones Written It, And Now We Have The Chance Too!
Someday We'll Be Lookin' Back,
Memories We've Had, All The Songs That We Lived Through!
The Best Of Times,
So Why Leave Them Behind. Why Cant The Rest Of My Life
Be Like My,

High School Musical,
Who Says We Have To Let It Go?
It's The Best Part We've Ever Known, Step Into The Future!
We'll Hold On to,
High School Musical, Lets Celebrate Where We Come From,
With Friends Who've been There All Along, Just Like,
Our High School, High School Musical!

Now We Finally Realize
Who We Are, It Just Took Some Time
That You Learn And To Live To See The Truth
Can't You See The Truth?
Nothing's Ever Impossible, Into The Future With Every Fall. Until Forever We'll Always Have High School!

Turn the Party, Lets Celebrate!
(Troy & Gabriella):
Cause The Worlds One Big Stage, And In It What You Want, It Can Be Yours!

Everybody Sing, Yeah!
Can You Show Us, Now We're Wanna Go?
It's Where The Status Is Here, Oh.
High School, Lives On Forever More! High School, High School Musical!

High School Musical,
Who Says We Have To Let It Go?
It's The Best Part We've Ever Known, Step Into The Future,
We'll Hold On to,
High School Musical, Lets Celebrate Where We Come From,
With Friends Who've Been There All Along, Oh Yeah!

I Wish My Life Could Feel Like A,

High School Musical,
Who Says We Have To Let It Go?
It's The Best Part We've Ever Known,Step Into The Future!
We'll Hold On to,
High School Musical, Lets Celebrate Where We Come From,
With Friends Who've been There All Along, Just Like.

"I, Kim Macafee, being of sound mind and body..."

I have been so busy with play practice. It was a long 3 months. It was hard. I would memorize and memorize it perfect and freeze on stage. So obviously I was nervous for dress rehearsals. We had 3 strikes to make a mistake or be kicked off and replaced by our double. I got all ready and was sitting down in the auditorium getting a pep talk, and Tashi walks up to me and hands me the car keys for later. She whispered in my ear, "why haven't you been answering your phone? Mom's been trying to call you over and over again. Dad shot a nail through his fingers and has to have surgery." And then walked away, before I could ask her anything else.

I wasn't answering my phone because I was getting dressed and going over my lines. And now I couldn't call because I had to be on stage in 2 seconds. The play started, and I was back stage waiting for my cue all by myself in the dark. The nervousness was making me shake, and then imagining what happened to my dad...I almost passed out. When somebody that close to me gets hurt, it hurts me too, and I was imagining his fingers getting amputated. I finally got a hold of myself so I wouldn't pass out, but then almost started crying. Which wasn't good because I couldn't go onstage crying. So I started praying really hard. And I was able to calm down and go through my first dress rehearsal calmly.

And things have gone smoothly ever since. I've had 2 more dress rehearsals, and I my dad's hand is fine. I just have to be confident in myself now, and have fun. And this week of school has been fun. I'm really excited for the play now.

I will post pictures and talk about it more after it's done. But wish me luck on my opening night tomorrow!

Prom Dress

I ordered my prom dress! It won't be here for while, but it's okay because prom isn't for awhile either. My mom said I had to find a dress under $200, and there was this one I found, but when we went to order it, they didn't have my size, so we had to buy this one for a little bit more. But I like it more anyways. Isn't it a splendid dress for so cheap? I've heard girls talking about how they bought their dress for 400-something dollars. And theirs won't even be modest.

Look at the felicitous lace-up!!!


The beading is foudroyant and exuberant. Haha I'm just kidding. But those 3 words are on the "100 most beautiful words in the English language"



I'm a very lucky girl

And I'm thinking about doing my hair like this

Clothes, glorious clothes

I haven't gone shopping in a long time. I'm rather proud of myself. But these are looking really nice to me...

Just my luck

I have a 3-day weekend ahead of me. To not worry about the musical, school, or teachers. I can quilt, talk to Nick, earn money from doing chores, and have fun with my family.

We got out early because it's girls basketball state this weekend. There was a student bus going to the game tonight. I was so excited to get out at 1:30! Then I heard it was moved to 1:20. I forgot my purse and homework because it was a crazy morning. But my teacher understood and I was able to manage without my purse, miraculously. So we were in our last class counting down the minutes. And because we combined schools, some of the students, including me, live 30 minutes away. And when we have early days like this, the principal won't let us out until the buses are here. Because I didn't have play practice, I was going to ride the bus home. My evil teacher told us she wouldn't let us leave until we got the intercom from the principal. Well he decided not to give us the intercom, and use the bells instead. But our teacher wouldn't let us leave at the bell. Well like 10 minutes later we start getting calls and texts from other kids asking us where we are because they've been out of class for a long time and they can't find us. Well we're not supposed to have phones in class, so we couldn't say this to our teacher but we started suggesting "can we see if people are in the halls?" and right when we went to the door, and teacher came and said, "you're still in class? we've been out for 15 minutes!" so we run out to the halls, and they're completely empty. Everyone is gone. I was worried about my bus, so I ran to my locker. A girl stopped me and said my bus had already left. Most of the teachers were gone too. All the kids in my class lived close-by to the school and couldn't drive me home. In a panic I called my dad asking me to come pick me up. He wouldn't be there for another 30 minutes, it looked like they were locking up the school, and it was freezing cold outside. My dad got upset because it wasn't my fault the bus left me, and he couldn't pick me up because my mom was using the only working car, and she didn't have her cellphone on her. Joseph was sitting all by himself too. I wondered if he had missed the bus too. But then his mom drove up. She saw me abandoned and told me they were going to go run errands in Q-town, and could drive me home after they were done. It was my only option. I only had my phone, coat, and Jane Austen collection book with me. I felt like an orphan child. I had no other choice. I fell asleep and read my Jane Austen in the car. And I ended up getting home at the time I would normally get home if it was a normal day. My friend noticed and mentioned how I've been having a lot of bad luck lately. But I did get home safely, and like all my other bad luck, it always works out in the end...

Sicky

I am taking a sicky today. I slept most of the morning away. I changed my blog layout, and now I'm going to read my scriptures and Sense & Sensibility. I'll probably go back to sleep with that cozy blanket Nick made for me for Christmas. Maybe I'll watch North and South or some Jane Austen later.
Hopefully I will be as good as new tomorrow. In the mean while, enjoy these inspirational quotes:

Conscience is that still, small
voice that is sometimes too loud for comfort.
+ + Bert Murray

My grandfather once told me that there are
two kinds of people: those who work and those
who take the credit. He told me to try to be in
the first group; there was less competition there.
+ + Indira Gandhi

In matters of principle, stand like a rock;
in matters of taste, swim with the current.
+ + Thomas Jefferson

God grant me the courage not to give up what
I think is right even though I think it is hopeless.
+ + Chester W. Nimitz

I don't have to attend
every argument I'm invited to.

+ + Author Unknown

Conscience is the inner voice that
warns us somebody may be looking.
+ + Henry Louis Mencken

The reputation of a thousand years may
be determined by the conduct of one hour.
+ + Japanese Proverb

For the human mind is seldom at stay:
If you do not grow better,
you will most undoubtedly grow worse.
+ + Samuel Richardson

I would rather be
right than President.

+ + Henry Clay

Roses are sweet, but music is too

All the girls around me got roses for Valentines. But I got this. Now I'm not saying I didn't want roses, those would've made me happy too - but this was more thoughtful. It is sheet music for the song "You and Me" by Lifehouse. I song I taught Nick to waltz to. To me it was thoughtful. He knows I love to play the piano and that I love this song. So instead getting expensive roses that had no thought put into them, I was completely surprised and happy with this. And I know he didn't spend a lot of money on it because he's putting half of all his earnings into his missionary fund (which is how it should be) and the other half (his spending money) is all going to coming out to my prom. I'm so excited.

I wouldn't trade him for any other guy. I'm practicing so he can hear it when he comes out. There aren't many guys like Nick. Who else would promise to call me everyday, and actually call me EVERYDAY no matter how busy he is?

Elinor and Marianne

Nick gave me all of Jane Austen's books in one for Christmas. So I'm finally starting to read the first book, Sense and Sensibility. I've seen the movie so many times, and love to play the songs on the piano. But honestly, I have never read any of Jane Austen's books. That's my new goal. To read all of them. They're so beautifully written. I'm only 2 chapters into it, and I relate with Emma the best. But this part reminds me of me (Marianne) & Tash (Elinor) so much:

Elinor, this daughter whose advice was so effectual, possessed a strength of understanding, and coolness of judgement, which qualified her, though only [sixteen],...She had an excellent heart; her disposition was affectionate, and her feelings were strong: but she knew how to govern them: it was a knowledge which one of her sisters had resolved never to be taught.

Marianne's abilities were, in many respects, quite equal to Elinor's. She was sensible and clever, but eager in everything; her sorrows, her joys, could have no moderation. She was generous, amiable, interesting: she was everything but prudent. The resemblance between her and her mother was strikingly great.

Elinor saw, with concern, the excess of her sister's sensibility...

Book of Mormon

I've been reading the Book of Mormon everyday for one of my 10 hour projects for Personal Progress in Young Womens. I read 5 pages a day, and I started at the beginning of January. I'm at the end of Mosiah now. I've only skipped a couple of days so far and I made them up so I'm not behind. I've been so busy lately, I sometimes feel like I can't find the time. But even though timewise it's impossible, I somehow have been able to get everything done. It's kind of crazy. Seminary teachers speak the truth when they say if you read your scriptures before you do anything else, you will always get everything else done too. I believe what my seminary teacher said now.

There's so many little truths and things in the Book of Mormon that you forget about. It helps calm me down and when I'm having a bad day, I've noticed it will get better the second I say a prayer. Yes, reading 5 pages a day has helped my day to day life. It doesn't even seem like a lot to read anymore. I'm reading the New Testament for seminary too. I think I've read over 10 hours worth by now, but I'm going to finish reading and maybe start over again. My mind is able to focus on what it needs to instead of the gross yucky things people talk about at school. I'm able to tune it out.

Anybody else want to do it with me?

new pants

I bought some new pants. I like the boyfit. What do you think?