Longest Road Trip Ever

I haven't been blogging because we're on our long trip from California to Virginia - which I wouldn't recommend to anybody unless there is no other option. There have been a few adventures:

1. The truck seats don't recline and there's no AC so we melt into the leather seats.
2. I officially hate the desert, especially between California and St. George, UT.
3. The GPS is my new best friend
4. Right after we walked into my grandma's house in Fillmore to stay the first night, she got a call from my aunt saying she was diagnosed with breast cancer. Nancy is only 35 years old, with 4 kids, ages 8 months-11 years old. She was still nursing the baby. It was not the news my grandma wanted to hear because two years in a row, her husband and daughter-in-law were diagnosed with cancer on her birthday. My grandma is a breast cancer survivor too. It was good that me, Tash, and Bear were there with her.

5. I got to spend time with Tashi and take her college shopping for BYU.

6. I got to see both of my great grandmas Verna Challis and Geneal Smith (ages 87 and 90) while in Utah. I love them!

7. I got to stay at John and Traci (my aunt and uncle)'s house in Grantsville. Traci did my hair as my wedding gift.

8. We get on the road and start having a sputtering engine. The oil was empty and we accidentally overfilled it, which made it still sputter of course. We had to keep stopping. But we finally fixed the problem and finally got to Amber's house late Wednesday night. It was good to meet her new husband and catch up because I wasn't able to go to her wedding.

9. We finally made it alive to Nauvoo and I was finally in my momma's and the babies' arms.

10. I keep thinking that Tashi's going to come home from work or school. But then I remember she's at BYU and I get sad on the inside.

11. I'm getting to eat my favorite foods and play Ticket to Ride to my heart;s content. I love my mommy.

12. Our Bustard kitty is so big now and I can't wait to take him back to Virginia with us.

13. I'm sad that I missed my grandma and grandpa Stout because of our truck troubles.

We take off early tomorrow morning (Sunday) because class starts Monday. Crazy life.

Los Angeles Temple

I went to the Los Angeles Temple with the Relief Society sisters in my new ward on Thursday morning. It was the first time I'd been to this temple and it was a wonderful experience. It's huge and gorgeous! Definitely before "mini temples". It was kind of weird not having Bear there but it was a great opportunity to go. I want to make a goal of going to the temple once a month, which will be tricky because Bear works so much and then we're pretty far from the Washington D.C. Temple at school too. But I'm determined. I miss my teenage days of hopping on the train on a random night to go to the Tokyo Temple, or walking down the street to the Nauvoo Temple. The temple is a lovely grand place. We should all go. Because it makes people happy. I'm happy that I'm sealed to my family forever. It's a good feeling, especially now as my grandpa passed away recently. It's a learning experience every time I go. Why is that we take them for granted when they're right next to us? Temples. Temples. Temples. I love them.

The paragraph above has no structure because the temple makes a million emotions and thoughts run through my head. To sum it up, it was worth getting married in the temple. In my grandma's dress. (We've almost been married for a month! Gah)

Memorial Day

Oh dear. I don't want to bore you all to tears with more talk of frozen custard. But to me, there is no limit to expressing love for this stuff.

On Memorial Day we went to Sunsey By the Mississippi for Family Home Evening. They had added a lot of new funny skits this year and the whole family enjoyed it.

My mom's cousin and his family were in town visiting Old Nauvoo. We had them over for Sunday dinner the day before but ran into them unexpectedly at the show. So we all tottered over to Annie's.

Um Gracie's face is hilarious. Actually all 3 of them.

3 generations. Each generation gets cuter. Haha totally kidding.

MMMMMMMMmmmmm she knows what's good for her.

Life is good

Sometimes I miss my grandpa. But I'm proud of him. He was a good example and worked hard until the end. I'm really sad that I couldn't be there for the funeral. But my family recorded it and I'll get to listen to it soon.

The following pictures make me happy. I keep hearing even from church members how hard marriage is. I'm not naive enough to think I will be in utter bliss for the rest of my life. But can we be a little more positive here? I'm not worried. I'm hopeful and I know that married life will have to be something that I work at, but I know it will be very fulfilling and worth it.

I'm so grateful that Heavenly Father gave us emotions so that we could feel joy, even if it's not all the time.

Mia's birthday was on Friday. She's 10. Noah turned 7 today. I'm freaking out. They got their TOMS on time. Phew. Mine should be here tomorrow. I'm so exited!!! Oh and our cat had kittens at home today.

So yes, I have so much homework I think I'm going to die and I'm not getting enough sleep and I hate how much time wedding invitations are taking up, but life is so happy and good right now. The baseball team is at 26-5. They just beat a team that beat them earlier in the season. I'm happy all-around.

Aren't my grandparents the cutest? This picture would've been a year after they got married. I want to be cute like them.

Wedding Dress

Isn't my grandma cute? These are pictures back from 1968. I'm wearing my grandma's dress for my wedding. My mom wore her grandma's too, so so I guess I made a tradition.

I love the train. The only problem is I haven't tried it on yet. It's at home with my mom. The lace has yellowed a bit, but the temple approved it so I should be good to go. And me and my grandma are pretty much the same size and it fits Tashi. I'm not too worried.

And I'm not wearing because my family wanted me too or because of a family tradition. But it definitely saves a lot of hassle.

And now that my grandpa just passed away, it means so much more. Things are speeding up and I'm getting so excited! I can't wait to try on the dress!

It makes my heart full

This was in front of my dorm door last night. It made me really happy. They're from my RA, Katie. It made me feel guilty because I never do this kind of thing for other people in need. It really encouraged me to look for more people in need.

I'm feeling a lot better. The pain is going away. I was never in denial or angry. I just needed to cry. Which is what bear let me do. What would I do without his patience?

My family started the drive to Utah today. My parents asked me if I wanted them to buy a plane ticket for me. I really wanted to go. And I'm sure my professors would understand and I wouldn't be gone for very long. And it was a really hard decision. But I prayed and stressed and prayed and stressed and decided to stay at school. I'm still sad about it, but I need to listen to the Spirit, right? Gah my faith is being stretched right now. I want to be stronger. Bear supports my decision either way. I love him.

I don't want to sound super emo on this blog. But I really am on an emotional roller coaster. Sometimes I'm super happy and at peace about it. Sometimes the littlest thing can make me cry. And want to sit around doing nothing but focus on my sadness.

I've had so many people saying that they've been thinking about me and praying for me. It makes my heart full.

When my mom called me yesterday to let me know that grandpa's blood pressure was at 40 and he was going to get a blessing of release that day, I was happy for him that he would be let go from his pain. But later that day I just started bawling during class. Ironically, it was just as my grandpa was dying, I just didn't know it then. I had a missed call right after class. I really think I have a spiritual connection with my grandpa. Our lives have always been interconnected in an interesting way. I love him.

Thanks to Bear, to Greta for taking me to the benefit concert, to Jena for working for me, and to Katie for the flowers.

I'm the type of person that cries really hard and then I've let it go and I'm okay. I will be okay. I will see him again. I just want to be with my family during this time. My grandma's wedding dress and the temple are so much more important to me all of the sudden.

But I'll be okay because I believe in eternity.

Grandpa

My grandpa died today.

Even though I've known for months, I'm still in shock. I've never had somebody close to me die before. He was so young. And I know that he was the best man that he could be and is sealed in the temple. And I know he's not in pain anymore. And I know he's with his dad now. And I know it's the Savior's birthday. But I'm going through the grieving process right now.

I had to take a free day at work and I could barely make it back up to my room because my throat was closing off and I couldn't see through the tears. Now I just feel blah and I don't want to do anything. I want to be with my family right now.

I'm happy because I felt like I needed to write him a letter recently and I did. It was good timing - it barely made it in time.

I found this post I wrote about my grandpa back in 2007:

http://lexichan.blogspot.com/2007/03/dr-limburg-my-granpa.html

I'm so glad I got to spend so much time with him at Christmas. And I don't think I would've wanted to see him suffering and fading away at the end. But I just want to give him a hug right now. I didn't spend a lot of my life with him because we've always lived so far away, but he has really motivated me to do well in school and I look to him as an example of service.

I'm grateful for temples right now and I know that he'd be proud of what I'm about to do. He never got to meet Bear in person :( But my mom said he'll still be at the wedding with me. I'm grateful for eternal families. I just want the pain to go away.

Weekend

I really wish I had my camera with me. Because I don't feel like I'm a good enough writer to blog without pictures to go along with it. Oh well.

I had a good weekend with my roomies again. Rachel got her car fixed, so she got to go home for the weekend to North Carolina. I don't like how I miss people I just met.

We all went to Alexander's for ice cream right after class on Friday. I got black raspberry with a brownie mix-in of course! Nate (the guy who owns the place and is one of my chorus teachers) was like, "you want a whole brownie?" Yes, make me feel fat. Please. But then he realized I ordered a single, not a double. So he said I was justified with a whole brownie.

When we went to pick up Rachel's car, the guy who owned the car place (Leroy) said, "was that all you girls laughing out there? I think you were having too much fun. I wish I could be young." But he didn't seem nostalgic or joking. He actually seemed depressed about it. How sad is that? It's your choice whether you're going to have a happy life or not, no matter what your environment is.

Morgann came and slept over that night in Rachel's bed. And we went to the mall in the morning! It was only an hour away, and a very good mall. And I got my hair highlighted for $5. I only had to buy the bleach. It's not super noticeable. But I felt like my hair was a little dark. Morgann colored her hair back to brown. It was kind of nippy outside, so we snuggled and watched The Haunting in Connecticut. We pulled the mattresses onto the floor and Morgann and me squished Greta in the middle. Morgann and Greta were holding hands and I was clasped onto Greta's arm. There was a part were we screamed and jumped so loud, their hands were almost broken and Greta's arm almost broke so we had to pause the movie to wait for the pain to subside. Morgann didn't sleep over again, so me and Greta just slept on the mattresses together. We talked about boys til 1:30, when Greta passed out. I had to keep making sure she was there during the night. Why do I keep watching scary movies?

I'm having all my roommates take the Love Language test. It's actually quite informational. I've taught them about "dressing their truths." Now we just need to take the color-personality test. Hee hee

I really miss 2:00 church. 9:00 is just not making my body happy. At all. Yes, you can take a nap after church, but why not just sleep in and not interrupt your sleep? And go to church happy? And then you have less time after church to be tempted to do non-churchy things. Or be tempted to not take a nap.

I got called as a Visiting Teaching supervisor today. Doesn't sound too bad. Of course that's what I get because my mom is so visiting teaching centered. Greta's the compassionate service chair, and Haylea's a Gospel Doctrine teacher. Rachel doesn't have a calling yet because she was out of town. I'm excited for the CES fireside tonight. It's my first one!

The update on my grandpa is: they never got a definite diagnosis in Chile. They ruled out a few kind of cancers including squamos cell, lymphoma, and melanoma. They got back to Utah on Saturday (yesterday) afternoon, bringing back slides with them to get a better diagnosis here in the U.S. Their first doctor appointment is Monday. They're going to keep us updated. I'm praying!

And my cousin Stephen comes home off his mission on Thursday. And my birthday's next Tuesday! Life is good. But we're getting so old! 21 and 19? What is this?

COLLEGE

I finished my first two weeks of college! When I told my mom that she laughed because I sounded so proud of myself. It's been busy but a good busy. I haven't gotten too overwhelmed and I've been spending my time wisely. I'm loving it here. Virginia is beautiful. Especially Rockbridge County. The view from my dorm is breathtaking. No matter what time of day. I need to post a picture. Just rows and rows of green mountains. Ah.

Even the math class I was dreading isn't so bad. Everything's been going good for me. No roommate fighting/drama, no classes I hate...I feel like I've already learned a lot just in these 2 weeks. Major still undecided...but right now I'm thinking about history. Oh, and Pocahontas helped me in class today. I was able to answer the question, "what British group came to the U.S. before the Puritans?" The Virginia Company, in sixteen-hundred-seven. (Not sixteen-oh-seven). So I'm keeping up with all my schoolwork, while still having the time of my life with my roommates. We spend too much time with each other. We keep trying to go out and be social, but things keep getting in the way (like a car not starting on the way to a football game)...but get this! I just got asked out on a date tonight. I've only been here for 2 1/2 weeks! But it's complicated. My roommates know the story. I'm very torn.

There's good devotionals every Friday to start off your weekend. Today's was by Stephanie Smith, a lady that just joined the church in 2007. But she had a top position in the CIA! And my institute teacher's wedding anniversary was yesterday. He said only about 3% of our generation would make it that far. I'm thinking I want to be in that 3%.

Oh, I'm on the Institute activities committee. I know my family misses me, and of course I miss them. But I can't believe how scared and homesick I was those first few days. That all seems so silly now. I realized I've been ready for college for a long time. Oh, and we got to go help some people move for $15 an hour. I loved it. I loved how I can come to a small town in the middle of Virginia and say Nauvoo, and everyone knows exactly what I'm talking about. But like this moving family weren't members, so I just had to explain that It's a tiny town in Illinois on the Mississippi River. "Is it by Bloomington?" Noooo. I love being Mormon.

And I just found out my grandpa has stage 4 cancer. And my love life is all messed up. But those haven't gotten me down. Every other happy thing has drowned those 2 things out. And when isn't a love life messed up? So I guess that one doesn't really count. And I feel like there's 2 different paths in my life that seem like they could never match up. But they both feel right. So I'm all sorts of confused. But I'm just trusting that it will all work out in the end. It always does if you follow your heart. Yes, Pocahontas has taught me many life lessons.

Gah I feel like all my blog posts don't make sense. But comment, because that makes me happy too

So my advice is...go to college, because it makes you happy!

Watched Over

My family has really been looked out by Heavenly Father for the past few days

^ (this is Tash, me, and Jordan)

My aunt Jill posted this about my cousin Jordan:

"Jordan was in a car accident last night, but luckily, nobody was hurt. He was out doing missionary splits, and they were hit by a sweet older woman in her 70's or 80's. She didn't see them coming and pulled out from the stop sign, clipping the tail of the truck as he was going 60 mph (speeding up to avoid her) down the highway by the Benjamin exit. The truck actually turned around 180 degrees and ended up on the other side of the road. They almost went over the drop-off, but stopped just in time. If Jordan hadn't seen her coming and sped up a little, she could have hit the passenger side further up where the missionary was. There were several other cars in the area, and it was good that no other cars were involved. Everyone was wearing seat belts. He feels that they were watched over."

My grandparents were on their airplane to Chile for their mission when the huge earthquake hit. The plane turned around to Miami and now they are waiting in Dallas. They were a few hours away from being hurt, killed, or stranded. Not only were they lucky in not being there during the earthquake, now they will be able to help a lot more when they get there!

And other such small incidences in my immediate family too. I know these are not coincidences! If you're doing what's right, you'll be watched out for. Especially with missionary work. Once again, I love missionaries

Surprise Package

This is what I got in the mail from my cousin Stephen! He's on a mission in Japan, and will come home in September. We're the 2 oldest cousins on my mom's side of the family. He has always felt like a brother, and seriously looks like he is my brother. I didn't see him too much (growing up in Japan and all), but there's always been that connection. My heart broke when he left on his mission...I just broke down and cried. It was weird. Because I was proud of him going and stuff, and it's not like he died or anything haha I'm just a drama queen.

But I have been faithfully writing him letters. It is stinky that because I'm not his immediate family, I can't email him, and have to write snail mail which takes forever to get to Japan.

We were assigned to give each other Christmas presents this year, but it had to be something handmade or used. Well, I couldn't think of something used to send to a missionary, so I wrote him a letter. But to make it more special, I only bore my testimony and had all my friends do it with me. I never got his gift, and found out from this letter that then longer he's out, the busier he gets, and the last letter he was able to send was one for his dad's birthday back in October. And he's been working on my Christmas present this whole time. He says this isn't even the real deal - this was to say sorry and to give me something for Vday. I've been craving Japanese candy lately, and so I was SO happy to get a box full. And isn't the letter folded all cute? You can tell he's been in Japan haha.

I can't wait for my gift now!

I love missionaries. I want to be one someday.

Tribute to Stephen, also known as Beaver Boy

Stephen is my cousin leaving on his mission on Wednesday. His family came to visit us in Nauvoo one last time before he left. Most of the time his family was here, I was EFY. And when I came back, I had lost my voice from screaming so much. And then they were touring Nauvoo and Monday was my first day of school, and they left while I was at school. When I was with them, I meant to ask Stephen to write in my journal. But I forgot, so I desperately texted home on the way to school asking him to do that before he left. It's so weird for me that he's leaving for the MTC on Wednesday. I mean, I grew up with him. Even though my family lived in Japan, we'd see them every summer when we'd come back to visit Utah. They were me and Tashi's favorite cousins. And our ONLY cousins for a long time. It was just us 4 for about 6 years.



I looked up to Stephen so much. He was my brother separated from me during the year. I thought I was going to marry him! (Until my mom told me it was illegal to marry your cousins). Haha but we'd find the best hiding places and just sit there together and each read our own book. That's how nerdy we were. We were only 5 and 7! One time we hid so good, our parents couldn't find us all day! 



And being a member of the Limburg family, we all had to take piano lessons. Later on, we all took voice lessons. So now everytime we get together, Jordan just sits down at the piano and starts playing sheet music and plays it really good the first time. Our favorites to sing together were Phantom of the Opera, High School Musical, and the EFY medley. And oh my, their voices are so good. They can read music and have the perfect pitch without hearing it on the piano. And Jordan can sing higher than me! Their singing ranges are huge! Singing with them was so happiness, I wish we could do it everyday (now you see why I was so upset that I lost my voice).



All my life, people have been leaving on missions. But nobody this close to me. Nobody I've grown up with. It really feels like my older brother is leaving on his mission. I'm so proud of him. He's going to Japan!!! It runs in the family I guess. He'll be a very good missionary. Haha the boy I grew up with is going on a mission to the place I grew up in! I'm so excited that he's going there. And I loved how we talked about patriarchal blessings that last night and how 2 years seems like a long time, but it's really not.




When I came home from school, I ran to my journal to see what he wrote. He had written 2 whole pages!!! And my journal is huge, so that's a lot of writing. I sat there and sobbed while I read it. My heart hurt. It actually hurt. Like it was going to fall apart. (Now I know what a broken heart feels like haha) But that's how much I love him and how much I'll miss him. I'm going to be writing to him like, everyday!!!



This is what he wrote in my journal:

Hello. My name is Stephen Mulder. I'm Lexi's cousin. I'm staying at her house in Nauvoo, or should I say, I've BEEN staying there. We're leaving in about 30 minutes. We've been here since Wednesday evening. She was at EFY for the first couple of days, but we still got a chance to do some things together. We had a lot of fun last night recording ourselves singing. Jordan and Tashi sung with us too. It was pretty hilarious because Lexi had pretty much lost her voice from EFY, the songs were way to high for me, and everyone kept going in and out of key Haha. It was great.



Well, I think the main reason I'm sitting here writing in someone else's journal is because in 9 days I will be heading into the MTC. I've been called by the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints to go and serve a proselyting mission in Nagoya, Japan for the extent of 2 years, and I won't be able to see or talk to Lexi for at least that long. We've been kind of like best friends our whole lives. Lexi was showing me some pictures of us last night when we were little. By the way, I'm 19 years old right now.

Well, I'm not exactly sure why Lexi asked me to write in here because she didn't ask me in person, and I've got to hurry so we don't miss our flight. But I want to leave you a short testimony, Lexi. 



Satan has a lot of tricks to make the filth of the world appear fun and exciting and popular, but it's fake, and it only brings misery. It may seen like those kind of people are happy, but they're not. Find joy in being different! Take the opportunity to use that in your favor to be a tool for missionary work in the Lord's hands. Try your very best to be a good example and lead others back to Father. Remember they're our brothers and sisters, and that EVERY soul has great worth in the eyes of God. Bring people to the church and to the gospel, and you will find happiness. If you ever feel lonely or upset or confused, remember to ask yourself if you are reading your scriptures. That is ALWAYS the answer. In spite of what's going on around you, you can be happy if you are being obedient to the Lord's commandments, and doing the SMALL things. Those are the ones that count.



I know that Heavenly Father loves me, you, and all of His children. I KNOW that. I don't know how to describe it, but I know that he does love us, no matter how much we distance ourselves from Him through our disobedience. I know that the atonement is the only way that we have a chance of making it back. I KNOW...that Joseph Smith was a prophet of God, and I love him very much. I know that a testimony in the Savior is the rock upon which we MUST build is we are to be standing to greet the Lord when He returns again. The casualties in this great war of Latterdays are increasing everyday. The Lord needs our VERY BEST! Don't give up, and have faith that the reward for enduring to the end is as great as God promises (D&C 14:7). And finally, ALWAYS look to the temple. I don't unserstand everything yet, and I'm sure I never will in this life, but somehow, I know that the temple is how God will raise us up to overcome this carnal body and realize our full potential, in His presence.



Remember this and plan for the temple, and nothing less. Promise this to yourself and to your God. I love you Lexi. May God be with you to comfort and bless you. He is the light, rely upon Him. If he can trust us...surely WE can trust Him. 

♥ Stephen Mulder

We Are Family!!! I Got All My Cousins With Me!!!

Yay! I got to actually do something fun for the first time this summer vacation. My mom's little sister and her family came down to our house. Because Gracie Sue's 1st birthday landed on the same day as Memorial day this year. So they came down to celebrate both of the celebrations with us.

It started out with a healthy lunch of subway sandwiches. Then me, Stephen, Jordan, and Tashi played 5-category Balderdash. For like 4 hours. It was intense and serious stuff. We made a lot of inside jokes from that - Tim the sheep, the chlorine explosion on Pluto (treez)...the bloodbath barber...yfawtc (your feet are way too clammy)...abigail fritz's incredible apples...kirkus and glimmer...dhic (disabled homos in California)...waking up to find you married your lover's sister (eegah!)...too much funny stuff to write down...

Of course Gracie had a birthday cupcake. But even though we stripped her down, she barely ate any of it. She looked at it like it was dangerous. Don't you like her face right here?

We went and saw the quilt show contest. Both Tash and my mom entered quilts. Tashi didn't know that she got an award - best design in the junior category. So she was surprised until she saw her quilt. She gets $25 now!!! Don't you love her face?

Good times, good times. Stephen will be 19 in June, and be going on a mission...the 4 oldest cousins...are going our separate ways...the summer Stephen comes back, me and Jordan will have just barely graduated. And then Tashi the next summer. And we'll all go to college and get married and move far away...(just watch, Tashi will get married first out of all 4 of us)

Okay, I know this picture is kind of r-rated(especially of me)...but it shows our real selves...we pull weird faces all day. It's something that runs on this side of the fam (on my other side too actually....)