Tuesday, January 14, 2014

The Real Adult Life

Bear started his training in DeKalb on Monday. He left Sunday afternoon and will be back late Friday night. He says the training is intense because they squished 6 days worth of stuff into 5 days. Bear is literally busy all day and we get to talk late at night when he's finally back to the hotel. Man, there are perks to having a post-college, full-time adult job, but there are cons too. I can't imagine how lonely I would be without my parents and siblings right now. Okay, enough with the whining!

One of the great things about living in Nauvoo is the temple is RIGHT there. It was really hard to go to the temple in Virginia (especially with little kids). With the temple being 3.5 hours away, we either had to leave Lachlan with somebody ALL day, or bring a babysitter with us - which was hard to do on Ward/Stake temple day when everyone else wants to go to the Temple too. Now I just need to make sure I don't take it for granted.

I admit, it has been hard for me to get used to being a stay-at-home mom. I'm not dying to go back to school by any means, and I'm actually still pretty burnt out. When people ask me how I did it, I honestly don't know. I'm not a super woman. All I know is that I finished in the nick of time too - I seriously would have had to drop out with the twins. And although I hated having two very time-consuming things that needed my attention - motherhood and school (and they both always seemed to need attention at the same time), now I feel a little useless. I know how important motherhood is, and I'm glad I can give all of my attention to Lachlan now. And I know I need to stay home for all three kids soon. But I can't help but feel like half of my identity (a student) was taken away. Now, I'm just a mom. Real adult life starts now. After my family leaves for Korea, I won't have much socializing or adult conversation. The whole time that I've been married, I've been a student. First, I was a student. Then a student and wife. Then a student and mother. Now, just a mother. I have to keep readjusting my identity every year or so. So I know I'll get used to it eventually, but with non-stop school since I was a little girl, this is going to take some time to adjust to.

I DID NOT like the latest Downton Abbey episode. I know it wasn't graphic, and Julian Fellowes has his excuses "“The whole point of the way we do things on Downton is we don’t do them gratuitously. We are interested in exploring the resultant emotions and the effect these things have on people.” But at what point is he going to stop? He has to keep taking it up a notch. What point is too much?

The weather has warmed up in Nauvoo and our kitty survived. I'm kick-starting my Mary Kay business again and trying to reorganize everything.

Monday, January 06, 2014

A New Year

Happy New Year!

It has seriously been too cold outside! I keep wanting to go on walks outside, but I'm going to freeze to death if I do! After all the lecturing I gave people to workout while they're pregnant, I have done nothing. People keep asking me if I'm doubly sick with these twins, but luckily I'm not. I was definitely tired while I was pregnant with Lachlan, but I think I'm doubly tired this time instead of doubly sick. I'm sleeping 10 hours at night. I fall asleep between 9-10 pm. Which is weird for me because I usually stay up until midnight. I have the opposite of insomnia. If I sit down too long, I fall asleep. I get tired after little tasks. Sometimes I have to sit down while I'm brushing my teeth in the morning because I don't have enough energy to stand up. I know that working out will probably give me an energy boost, but it's really hard to motivate yourself when just thinking about getting ready for the day makes you want to go to sleep again.

I usually feel the most nauseous at night, right before I pass out on the couch while we're watching something. Every morning, I have to ask Bear how the movie or TV show ended. And Bear has to carry me to bed every night. I think the nausea is my body forcing me to go to sleep. Besides not wanting to stand up to brush my teeth, I wish it didn't have to be a daily thing because I almost throw up every time I brush. I try to stay away from the back of my throat, but brushing the front of my teeth irritates my gag reflex. I'm 11 weeks, almost to the second trimester. I just look a tiny bit bloated, but I'm not really showing yet. Which kind of surprises me. I thought with it being my second pregnancy and twins, that I would start showing earlier. At least by now. But who knows, I might pop tomorrow.

Yesterday was Fast Sunday, and Susanna Grace saw me making breakfast for myself and asked me if I was going to fast. I realized that I haven't fasted in almost 2 years because I was pregnant with Lachlan, and then I nursed him for a year. So her question made me think to myself, "because I just finished nursing, this should be my first month to start fasting again!" And I felt like a horrible person for being so out of the habit of fasting and not remembering myself. It took me a few minutes to remember that I'm pregnant again. This happened when I was pregnant with Lachlan too - sometimes I forget that I'm pregnant when I'm not feeling super sick, I don't have a huge bump, and I don't feel any baby kicking. That will change soon when I'm the size of a whale though!

Our good news is...Bear got hired at American Marketing! He'll be selling advertising to towns around us. He has to memorize a page-long script before his first day (on Jan. 13th), so he's a little stressed. He also has a week of training and a day long conference that the company has every year, so he'll be gone for 9 days. Luckily, I'll have my parents and siblings to help and we're very excited and grateful - especially because we'll have medical insurance for the twins. I haven't been to the doctor since we've moved, but now that we have the insurance and I'm doing my homework, I'll set up an appointment soon.

My family is really into watching Foyle's War at the moment, and of course Downton Abbey Season 4! Also, my younger siblings were supposed to go back to school today, but it was cancelled because of the low temperatures. The thermostat is set at 72, but Bear and I still had to sleep with a space heater in our room last night and there's ice on the inside of some of the windows. The kids have been blowing frozen bubbles outside and throwing boiling water out into the negative degree air and watching it disappear (turn to steam). I started reading about freezing to death on the internet last night, and it made me really happy that we have a warm house. I don't know if our kitty survived out there though :(