Wednesday, April 06, 2011


My grandpa died today.

Even though I've known for months, I'm still in shock. I've never had somebody close to me die before. He was so young. And I know that he was the best man that he could be and is sealed in the temple. And I know he's not in pain anymore. And I know he's with his dad now. And I know it's the Savior's birthday. But I'm going through the grieving process right now.

I had to take a free day at work and I could barely make it back up to my room because my throat was closing off and I couldn't see through the tears. Now I just feel blah and I don't want to do anything. I want to be with my family right now.

I'm happy because I felt like I needed to write him a letter recently and I did. It was good timing - it barely made it in time.

I found this post I wrote about my grandpa back in 2007:

I'm so glad I got to spend so much time with him at Christmas. And I don't think I would've wanted to see him suffering and fading away at the end. But I just want to give him a hug right now. I didn't spend a lot of my life with him because we've always lived so far away, but he has really motivated me to do well in school and I look to him as an example of service.

I'm grateful for temples right now and I know that he'd be proud of what I'm about to do. He never got to meet Bear in person :( But my mom said he'll still be at the wedding with me. I'm grateful for eternal families. I just want the pain to go away.


Ann Marie said...

Sorry to hear about your Grandpa, but glad that the pain is over for him as well. No fun living with the pain or watching a loved one live with it either. Your pain will eventually fade as time goes by. The pain you feel is worth it to have those loving memories of your grandpa. Take care of yourself and know he is with you in your heart and soul everyday. May he make the sun shine brightly on your wedding day.

Laura Elizabeth said...

Keeping you in my prayers. Love you girl. Love and Comfort coming your way. :)