Friday, June 07, 2013

The best love story is your own

Well, I promised our love story. Bear might tell it differently, but here it goes.

I was a little giggly freshman at SVU the Fall of 2010. Bear was back at SVU after his mission and was on the baseball team. I went on a couple of dates with other guys, who promised me second dates and then left me out to dry. My little heart was broken. (Don't promise me and then ignore me!) Anyways, I was interested in a guy on the baseball team...a few of them actually...sadly, none of them were Bear. The baseball team would go lift weights for an hour at 5:30 in the morning. So being the silly little freshman that I was, I would go to the gym at 6:30 am towards the end of their workout, and then go to breakfast in the cafeteria not long after they headed over there too. 

Thinking back on this, it all seems so silly. I would never ever wake up at 6:30 to work out any more. And I thought I was being all sneaky, but HELLO, they probably noticed I was only working out 10-15 minutes. Quite frankly, I was shamelessly creeping on them in public. Gosh.

So I met Bear a couple of weeks later at a game night. We both happened to be invited. He was wearing a light denim jacket and light denim jeans - something straight out of the 80's - in a bad way. (Don't worry, I buy his clothes for him now). Bear seemed friendly, pretty cute and fun. We all played a silly game and went home. I facebook stalked him that night. He kind of seemed too good to be true. My roommates started coming with me in the mornings because they started realizing how cute the baseball players were too. I don't know how I missed Bear before, but he was always at breakfast. After the game night, we always sat with him. We were in different sections of the same class and went on a field trip to Monticello together. I started to have a tiny crush on him, when one morning my bold roommate said to him, "you're pretty cute, you should ask me to homecoming!" Immediately, my jealousy flared because I would've never been able to be that bold and because I felt like I had more claim on him because I met him first. But my little heart was crushed again when he told my roommate that he already had a girlfriend.

A long-distance girlfriend, in fact. She was all the way in California and we were in Virginia. But I wasn't going to be a home-wrecker so I decided to stop liking Bear then and there. So we stayed friends and hung out in big groups. But one day, two weeks before Thanksgiving, Bear announced that he was taking his girlfriend home to South Carolina to meet his family during the break. All of the sudden, I freaked out. That sounded pretty serious to me!!! What if he's going to propose soon? They're going to be kissing and hanging out and having fun...and...At this point, I realized how much I still liked Bear. I was jealous. Way more jealous than when my bold roommate asked about the dance. If he got married, I'd lose his friendship. Even though I had tried to stuff those feelings deep down, I knew that I needed him in my life.

I was torn between letting him know before he left, because I knew this was probably my last chance, but again, I didn't want to be a home-wrecker. I stressed out so much about it, until one day I couldn't even sleep because I was over-thinking it. I HAD to tell him. So I texted him, "what if I told you I was jealous of your girlfriend?" What does that even mean? Gah, Lexi. Come on. 
He texted back, "I like you too, but I have to be fair to my girlfriend and talk to her. I haven't seen her in a few months and I still need to give her a chance." Wait, what?! He liked me too???!!! And now I'm turning into a girlfriend stealer. Awesome. And now I'm in a super awkward situation. I shouldn't see him before Thanksgiving.

I didn't say anything else. I went to my roommate's home in North Carolina for Thanksgiving. And I didn't text Bear the whole break. It was torture for me. But he never said anything either, so I figured that things must have gone well with his girlfriend. I was starting to feel my little heart break again. Finally, the Saturday after Thanksgiving (which is the day Lachlan was born, now that I think about it), I couldn't stand it any more. I casually texted him asking how his break went. He didn't text back very quickly and was vague. So this is it. Things went well with his girlfriend, and he just doesn't want to break it to me. 

The plan was to go to church in the morning and drive back to school. But all of the sudden, Bear texts me asking if he can follow us back to school. He had been having car troubles lately, and his mom wanted him to travel with someone just in case. I started freaking out again but didn't see through his plan. Nothing happened on the way home, except that he shared his Thanksgiving leftovers with us. I had no idea what to say to the guy. But as we're getting near to the school, he asks if he can talk to me once we get there. What?! Oh no! He's going to break the news to me! I can't handle this!!!

It ends up that things had not gone well with his girlfriend. She had been keeping some stuff from him, including the fact that she kissed a bunch of other guys and girls (WHAT?!) Bear wanted to end things, and she went home early because she was upset. We talked about how we liked each other, and ended up kissing that night. Everything had happened so fast, I couldn't take it all in.

We hung out every night after that after we were both done working. After two weeks of this, I asked him if he wanted to go to the Christmas dance. My roommates got me ready, and I had a super fun time. There were still a couple of awkward things including his girlfriend calling him while the two of us were hanging out trying to get back together with him. Oh, and sending him a nasty letter. 

So there were three weeks of hanging out everyday until Christmas break started. He was going back home to SC, and I was going straight to Utah to spend time with my grandpa who had cancer. My family was going to meet me there. Even looking back on it now, everything happened so fast, but it didn't feel like it at the time. So I told him I loved him on the last day of finals. I really did love him. But he honestly told me that he couldn't quite say it back yet. Oh no! I've ruined everything! I look too clingy! He doesn't even like me! I cried into my roommate, exhausted from finals and throwing myself out there. 

So we were "dating" for 6 weeks, and three of those were Christmas break, spent apart from each other. I skyped, texted, and called Bear every day. My relatives joked about us and it bugged me. We've only been dating a few weeks and he hasn't even told me that he loved me! Leave me alone! Bear came and picked me up from the airport and he surprised me by taking me to a Japanese restaurant.  And he gave me my Christmas present - a box from a jewelry store. Is he proposing? Is that a ring? asjhfkjdbgnasilfuaj,mnbksfdjlbnkvh Freak freak freak! This is too soon! But it was just a pearl necklace. Phew! I really care about this guy, but we haven't been dating long enough. I wouldn't have even known what to say if it had been a ring. 

A couple of days after I got back to school, there was a back to school dance that we went to, and afterwards, he talked to me about meeting my parents. But he had baseball and had games during all of the breaks in Spring semester. Looking at our schedules, we decided there wouldn't be any parent meetings of any kind until after the semester was over. "Besides, I believe in dating for a long time, and then having a short engagement," he said. Did he just say engagement?!!! I can't handle all of this! He's thinking about marrying me? Well at least I'll have a few months til he proposes and think about my answer. 

The next day after church, I went to have dinner at his house. All of the sudden, he jumped up. "Let's go on a walk!" he said. I looked outside. It was a gloomy, cloudy, cold early January day. "Okay..." I said skeptically. We walked all the way back up to campus. Up the huge hill. It was freezing. My nose started dripping. Great. We made it to Main Hall, built in the 1860's. This big, red, Victorian building with a million turrets is the main landmark at our school. We stood on the old porch and looked down at the rest of the town. He held me close to warm me up. Out of nowhere he asked, "Alexa, will you marry me?" Oh crap. My mind started freaking out again. This time it's real. What happened to the long dating/short engagement talk we had yesterday? He needs an answer! I haven't had time to think about this! But, suddenly, I had such a good feeling in my heart. So warm and good. I immediately knew what my heart was telling me. "Yes." And I knew that was the right answer. I never doubted my answer after that. 

A lot of people criticized us for the way we did things.We didn't date long enough. Bear didn't ask my dad for permission, let alone meet them. He didn't have a ring. He didn't get down on one knee. (He did later, once he bought the ring). But I wouldn't have had it any other way. Bear went and prayed about it the night before and followed the Spirit. If he had waited, I would have over-thought it. And this way I got to pick out the ring I wanted. 

I didn't regret my answer while I was engaged, and I still haven't. Bear is the exact person that I need. We're living happily, and will continue to do so ever after.


Creel Family said...

Hey Lexi! I've been loving your blog :) How are you guys liking Fresno? I love your little Lachlan. Such a cutie. Your love story was adorable. I agree with you. When you know, you know. Michael and I met the beginning of October and I knew the second I saw him...but we were engaged by Thanksgiving and I had a ring by Christmas :) Glad you guys went with your gut cus you are awesome! Hope all is well!

My name is Lexi said...

Thank you! I'm loving the time that I have to blog during the summer. We like Fresno, but we miss all of the people that we know in Lancaster :(