Sadness

This is an emotional post for me. It doesn't seem real. He's been the prophet since I was 3. His wife died, and he'd get kind of sick, but he'd always bounce right back again. This was so sudden. He was up and around going to events right up until he died. When he said he might not be at the next General Conference, I didn't think he meant it. He's always joking around like that. This is like my grandpa dying. I'm not mad at him for dying or mad at anybody else. And it's just plain selfish of me, but every time I think about him and how he won't be here anymore, I start bawling. Everyone else is talking about how they're happy because he's with Heavenly Father and his wife, but I'm still really sad. I feel like a family member has died. And I wanted to meet him in person. This is weird because I don't cry about very many things. But I'm the one that had tears pouring down my face during seminary when Bro. Rasmussen started talking about him. He had to get the tissue box for me. It's just that I've come to love him and feel his love for everybody more and more every year as I get older. And it seemed like he's live forever. I knew he would die someday, but that day seemed so far away and then it happened. While I was dancing around in my living room to crazy 80's music with my family. My family was so happy at the second he died. When at the same time his family was gathered around him, having a spiritual, happy and sad moment. Life is so weird like that. I don't even understand why I want to cry every 5 minutes. I can't control it. I really wish he could come back. I guess I'm just going through a mourning process. Sadness...

Birds of a Feather

Iron sharpeneth iron; so a man sharpeneth the countenance of his friend - Proverbs 27:17

Who are your friends? And how do you know? Do they bring out the best in you? Are they there for you when you need them? Have you ever been burned by someone you thought you could trust? What are friends for, anyway? How do we connect, grow, and build great relationships?

Life can be a lot easier when we have friends to share with us, cry with us, laugh with us, and assure us that we are okay, even when we make mistakes.

These are 5 things for me that are essential to having or being a true friend

1. Someone you can trust
2. Someone who accepts you for your good self
3. Tells you when you are doing wrong
4. Supports your morals and beliefs, inspires righteousness
   
5. Helps, guides, edifies, uplifts, and strengthens you

Learning to cultivate true friendships is so important. We aren't meant to make it through our earthly journey alone. Heavenly Father often answers our prayers through those we are close to. They are the ones who quietly whisper encouragement or sternly admonish us with warnings for our good. We need friends. Even the Savior surrounded himself with those he called friends.

We need to learn to discern true friends from false ones and to be a true friend to others.
Love yourself - You have heard this tons of times. But I include it because we really can't open our hearts and love other people until we understand how important it is to love ourselves. Not the prideful, me-first kind of love or the when-I-look-in-the-mirror-I-am-amazed-at-how-wonderful-I-am love. Just a comfortable acceptance of who we are and what we can become. If "the only way to have a friend is to be one", let's first be good to ourselves. From that sturdy foundation of acceptance, we will be able to choose better friends and be a better one.

Be positive - Here's an experiment to try: Just for one day, vow to think only positive thoughts about yourself and everybody else. If criticism creeps in, chase them away like you would the plague. You will have to go 24 hours and not complain about one single thing, not the weather, your homework, your hair, a job that needs doing, anything. Nothing but positive output! Your desire to be positive will be a magnet for your friends. They might wonder if you're sick or something, but maybe they'll join in and you can support one another in this 24-hour challenge!

Share your emotions - I've noticed that some people have a hard time sharing things that are tender. Our society tends to make it difficult to share the whole spectrum of our feelings without being uncomfortable. That's sad, because better friendships come from being more open. True friends share both happy and sad times, knowing strength comes from sharing.

Enjoy the gift of laughter - "He who laughs, lasts!" There is no denying that a healthy dose of laughter thrown into the mix can help the best of relationships. "Laughter is the sun that drives winter from the human face". Shouldn't we be involved in warming things up?

Practice makes perfect - We might be amazed at how we are able to cultivate better friendships by practicing on a daily basis, even when we are in a lousy mood and don't feel like being nice. The little things do count. We will never regret sharing loving, happy times. A "friend loveth at all times" (Proverbs 17:7), even on bad days. Even when we don't feel like it!

Focus on your truest friend - "Thy friends do stand by thee" (D&C 121:9). It is during moments of great need that our truest friend stands by us. Focusing on Christ and trying to love as He loves is our surest way of being and finding the right friend. There will times of despair and heartache for us all of us. At those difficult times we find our faith increases and our loving friendship with the Savior grows as we learn to know and trust Him. In fact, no one else, regardless of how much they can love us, can help us like the Savior can. I have come to learn how much I must depend on the Lord and how truly loving he is. I have witnessed how He is there for us when no one else can salve our hurting bodies or burdened hearts. Our truest friend know what is best for us. He will make sure we are taken care of with "every needful thing" D&C 88:119). We only need to trust. Sometimes during my not-so-noble moments I am quietly reminded of my friend's sacrifice for me, of his loving assistance, and of his desire to have me likewise be a true friend to others. If birds of a feather flock together, let's make sure we are part of the Savior's flock. He will be there during the times we need Him most. He will help us get along better with our family. His influence will allow us to use the great gift of laughter in a heavenly way. His love allows us to be more open with our feelings. His Spirit allows us to be more positive.
When we share the most important yet simple elements of friendship, the other elements seem to fall into place. Good, eternal relationships begin with the simplest of tools. God bless us as we practice making the best relationships, ones that last forever!

Friendship is the platform for becoming...true sons and daughters of God.

Women of Inspiration

I'm so thankful for the women around me that teach me the wonderfulness of womanhood. My 2 grandmas, my mom, Gloria, and though she probably doesn't know it, Kelly. They give me wonderful inspiration. My mom has done a good job in teaching me good skills for when I'm older. Arts of mother/womanhood that are being lost.

1. Quilting - my mom taught me the art of buying my own fabric that I liked, and making my own patterns, how to quilt the good way - hand or machine. Not the crappy, tied baby quilt style. Using antique patterns, fabrics, etc. Now I have color combinations and patterns popping up in my head all the time. The old form of quilting...*sigh of contentment*. Oh, and my mom taught me to sew on buttons, iron, and mend my own clothes.
2. Cooking - (this is mostly my grandma and mom) To make everything homemade. The art of making a healthy meal with hardly any meat. To use healthy cooking oils, whole grains, and lots of fruits and veggies. The art of making a colorful meal - not have everything be the same color. To have all the food groups in a meal. And to sit down and eat together and talk.
3. Cleaning - a house is never clean, but cleanliness is close to Godliness. And, it's good to have a relaxing day once in a while
4. Taking care of a baby
5. The art of good photography and scrap-booking
6. Decorating your house simply and tastefully using antique, vintage, and modern items
7. It's okay to eat chocolate all week once a month
8. Let your emotions out, don't hold them in, humor is good “Don’t forget to laugh at the silly things that happen. Humor . . . is a powerful force for good when used with discretion. Its physical expression, laughter, is highly therapeutic” (James E. Faust) "We’ve got to have a little humor in our lives. You had better take seriously that which should be taken seriously but, at the same time, we can bring in a touch of humor now and again. If the time ever comes when we can’t smile at ourselves, it will be a sad time." (Gordon B. Hinckley)
   
9. Marry someone who will love you more and more everyday, get married in the temple, and marry a returned missionary no matter what. Have a big family - children are treasures. The more you have, the more rich you are. "The family is a creation of the Almighty. It represents the most sacred of all relationships. It represents the most serious of all undertakings. It is the fundamental organization of society." (Gordon B. Hinckley)
10. Church and family come first, family home evening, prayer, and scripture study are a must - before friends and school and other things
11. If we trust in the Lord, nothing is impossible, and he will never send us a trial that we can't work out together (us and Him)
12. Someone always needs our help - look for that person, even if it's ourselves
13. Make sure everyone feels loved
14. ALWAYS ALWAYS pay tithing
15. Get as much education as you can
16. Don't get attention with your body, dress modestly
17. Only choose friends that will lift you higher and help you keep your standards

and the list could go on and on...but you get what I mean. I have so many women that inspire me. Hopefully I can be like them someday.

Crazy Weekend

Well, life has been pretty good lately. The past few nights I've been having really weird dreams though. Ones like Bro. Rasmussen helping me and Tashi sneak into the chapel when all the doors are locked during Sacrament Meeting by doing this crazy car chase, weird dreams with me, Gina, and Sam getting attacked in a forest where everything comes alive...The Brothers Grimm movie didn't help me I guess. That is one of the most weirdest movies I've ever seen. 
This 3 day weekend has been nice. On Friday, me, Gina, Ethan, and Cheyenne went up north. Gina got to see Mitch and Cheyenne got to see Corbin. I bought this new shirt, and a present for Tashi's b-day at the mall. I'll post a picture of her present after her birthday, because she reads my blog. But I got this shirt for myself:

I really like it. It was a very interesting night including me playing the Wii with Mitch's youngest sister. She's only 7, but she's insane and so competitive. It was my first time playing it, but I got really into it because of her. My arms are sore now just from playing 2 games. And some other stuff made it interesting. 

I get to go help Gina on her fence on her ranch today. But it's snowing. Hopefully I won't die from the cold. I can't wait for the progressive dinner with the priests on Wednesday for Mutual. 

3 Warriors, Return With Honor!!!!

 

Well, this year 3 guys that I've become best friends with are going on missions. It's so weird. I remember them being younger than me and thinking they were so old and cool. And now they're going on missions!!! Freak!!! I'm so proud of them~~

The first person is my first cousin once removed, (so my mom's cousin), but he was close to me and my cousins' (Stephen and Jordan) ages so he hung out with us. His name is Nick. I freakin' luv this kid. He is #4 in a 6-boy family. When my cousins lived down the street from us in Japan, he came to visit during the summer. That's when I really got to know him. We all went to the beach together and hung out...we had so much fun. You can't ever be bored when you're with Nick. He will say the funniest things. He's the one that when we (meaning, Stephen, Jordan, Tashi, and I) were bored at the family party on Christmas Eve, and took us to his house 2 minutes away to play on his Wii. I never got super close with him, but I will still miss him at family parties, and his sense of humor. I don't have a picture of him, but I wish you could meet him in person. A pic just wouldn't do it.

The next person is my cousin, Stephen. I have grown up with this kid. He's exactly 2 years and 3 months older than me. I have a picture of him standing by me (in my car-seat) on my blessing day. We played together from as early as I can remember. We were with each other 24/7 whenever we came to visit from Japan. We would hide somewhere in the house and just read books or talk all day - and this was when we were really little like, 5 and 7. And we were reading advanced books for our age. The funny thing was we were smart enough to read the words, but we couldn't understand what we were reading. I remember reading Little Women while he read some book about a knight in the middle ages. We were always hiding from Tashi and Jordan. We actually have a picture of me and Stephen hiding behind a piece of furniture giggling our heads off because we'd been found by our moms. We thought we were so grown-up haha. We were there for each other's birthday parties. We played "king and queen" and Tashi and Jordan were our prince/knight and princess. Oh and we can't forget playing "cats". When Stephen and Jordan's dad died from bone cancer when they were just 6 and 3, we were there for the funeral even though I didn't really understand it. Well, my aunt Jill, (his mom and my mom's little sister) got remarried and we were there for the wedding (flying from Japan for both of these events). Stephen and Jordan have 4 more younger half-siblings now, but they look like they're all full-siblings. It was just us 4 cousins for a long time until their little brother, Caleb was born when I was 6. Me and Stephen both look like our moms, so we look a lot alike. When I was little, I thought I was going to get married to Stephen. It was a devastating blow when I found out it was against the law to marry your cousin. Oh and then there was the summer when I was 8 and he was 11 and just the 2 of us stayed at my grandparents house that I live in now. Our grandparents gave us a list of chores to do that they would pay us for, and they were a doctor and a nurse so they would be gone all day and we had to fend for ourselves. I could do a whole blogpost on that. But to not make it too long... It was my dream ever since I could remember for their family to come live in Japan. And when they did, everyone automatically thought he was my older brother. He has amaza-zing piano and singing and acting skills, when the 4 of us (me, Stephen, Tashi, and Jordan) get together we're always singing around the piano. I'll tell them to play a song and they can play it the first time no matter how hard it is. I love singing with them. Now he's saving up money for a mission and is working 24/7 so I don't see him as much as I used to. But I still love him and will miss him like a brother when he goes on his mission. Here's 2 pictures of him:

(above:) Stephen and his youngest brother, Benjamin

(above:) Stephen's family minus their mom. 5 sons and 1 daughter. Tough for you, Emma!

And last but not least, my bestest friend that happens to be a boy in this little town that I live in, Sam. I call him Samu, because that's what his name would be in Japanese. I always kind of knew him when I'd come visit my grandma's ward. My aunt Micaela used to teach him piano lessons, and Gina too. The day after we moved into my grandma's house last May, he and his older sister were washing the windows because my grandparents paid them for it. Talk about akward! Me being an emotional wreck because I missed Japan so bad, and him looking at me through a window slaving away while I sat on my butt crying on the couch. He knows this already, so I can say it, but after I started hanging out with him, I had the biggest crush on him. And it was because I thought he liked me. Luckily I got over it when I went to Nauvoo with my fam in July and August. Wow I have some interesting journal entries about him. But we're too good of friends now. It would be too weird. And now he works at the Natzi cheeseplant, earning 12 dollars an hour. Everyone weekday afternoon. So we never get to see him anymore. But he's really sick right now and still has to work because he doesn't get a sick day for 90 days. I took him some immune fizz. I hope he gets better soon. I need to give him squishy love.

Here's 2 pictures of him. He is the bestest friend.

(above:) Sam being cold at Gina's house

(above:) and Sam dancing with me in Gina's room. I was really bummed because I wanted to go to this dance at the stake next to us, but I had to work. So Gina got the music ready. And Sam asked me to dance. It was really akward, but definitely one of my best memories. 

 

When Stephen and his family came down for Thanksgiving, we took him to see Sam. They were talking about how they were going on missions soon and how this was their last Thanksgiving and Christmas with their families and friends. That hit me so hard, I wanted to cry. But I'm really proud of them. They'd better return with honor!!! I love and miss all 3 of you~Squishy love

Love Came And Got Me Down

Well, I got grounded, while my friends all went up north to go shopping this weekend. It was like the longest weekend of my life. I thought I was going to die. I was supposed to go on a date on Saturday...and my parents said a boy was counting on me for that so they wouldn't ground me from that. But here's the sad story:
Sam, who I was originally going to go with...he had to go to Colorado, and then I wanted to ask Kelby Caleb. And so I randomly caught him in the hall in the middle of class, I was going to the library, and he was leaving for the basketball game (he's on the team). I asked him, and he said he had to ask his mom. I gave him my number, but he never called me that night. So I had to find him during advisory the next day, and ask him if his mom said yes. Here's how the conversation went:
Him: What day is it again?
Me: Um, saturday (this isn't sounding good)
Him: Oh...that's Nahomy's baptism...
Me: Oh...
Him: Sorry...
Me: (my voice squeaking) It's okay

And I had to run away before I started crying. And Bro. Rasmussen didn't help me any by announcing in Seminary next period that I needed a date. That was really akward. Especially because nobody said anything. And Gina tried to hint it to Cortney during lunch, and he just told me to ask Ben. I was having a meltdown by then. So I was rejected by all the boys in my school, and I didn't get to go on a date or go up north at all, because my mom and dad wouldn't let me go unless it was a date. And Gina couldn't even set me up on a blind date. So I was stuck home all weekend. I did lots of chores and took the car to the car wash by myself..and had some troubles but it worked out in the end. And I got to go to my baby cousin's blessing on Sunday. Lots of people from my little town were there. My uncles and their friend told me what it was like growing up in our little town back then. And then I finally got to see my friends at school today. I missed them.
But I forgive Bro. Rasmussen because he gives good seminary lessons that make me look at things in a different way.