Fertility

Now that I'm pregnant with twins, I've been thinking about fertility a lot lately. It's a funny thing. There are those few people who know exactly how many kids they're going to have and exactly when they're going to have them and everything goes according to plan. But I know so many more people whose baby plans are thrown off.

I know people who had two or three kids really close together and then were never able to have any more after that. I know people who space their kids out 5 years apart. I know people that have a set of older kids and then a set of younger kids. People who had honeymoon babies and people who waited 10 years to have kids. I know families with only one child. We have family friends that have 10 kids. We have friends with no kids. We have friends with adopted kids. We know friends that have in vitro babies. We know friends with surprise babies. With kaboose babies. Mixed families. Couples that have been trying for months/years to get pregnant or even adopt. Some finally get their wish. Some don't. Fertility is so different for everyone.

My family fell into two of the above groups. We had an older set of kids and a younger set of kids. And some adopted kids. My parents have five kids, and I'm the oldest. I was the only planned baby. My younger sister Tashi was born 16 months after me. She was definitely a surprise (a good one) and my parents felt like they were going to have a million kids by the time they were 30 years old. But then, they weren't able to get pregnant again for 14 years after Tashi. So my sister and I were the older set. My parents never found out why they couldn't get pregnant. They tried everything. They tried adopting from several different countries and long story short, we adopted two healthy Japanese newborns (Mia and Noah) that weren't biological siblings, 3 years apart. 3 years after that, my parents had another surprise biological baby - Susanna Grace. Mia, Noah and Susanna are the younger set. And although Mia and Noah were adopted, they feel just as much as my siblings as Tashi or Susanna.

I didn't know all the struggles my parents went through while they were trying to get pregnant or adopt, but it bred in me this anxiety that I was going to have the same problem. It sounds silly now, but a few months after I got married I was having extreme anxiety that I would never get pregnant. Bear gave me a blessing that I would be able to get pregnant. And I did. (Bear's family is extremely fertile. I didn't take this into account). And now I'm pregnant again. Apparently my anxiety was just plain silly. I do feel like we will deserve a break from getting pregnant for a while after the twins are born. But who knows - what if we can't get pregnant again after the twins, even if we want to? The thing is, you never know.

I just shared a lot of personal information but I wanted to make a point. We want to be nosy about other people's fertility. The thing is, it is very personal. We don't know people's financial situations or the pressure they're getting from in-laws or the fears they have of passing on a genetic disease etc etc. Having only one baby doesn't make you a bad parent. Having 10 kids doesn't make you a bad parent. We don't know people's intentions and fears. Some things are planned, some things are chance - like twins or down syndrome or miscarriages (not that I want to compare having twins with the terrible loss of a miscarriage). So my point is, fertility is a little fickle sometimes. Which is hard, because having babies is such a life-changing event (usually for the better). And we really can't judge others. We don't know if that couple that didn't have a baby until they were married for 10 years did that on purpose and their plan went perfectly, or if that same couple have been trying from day one. We also don't know if the couple with 10 kids knew they wanted that many from the beginning, or if they all came as a surprise. But does it matter? As long as you're providing for your kids and trying to be the best parent that you can,  it really doesn't matter. People are going to be nosy. But life is life. Live yours, and be the best parent that you can. Sometimes you can't control fertility. But that doesn't make you a bad person or a bad parent. You can do it!

TWINS

Now my thoughts are racing all day. TWINS?!

While I had a very healthy pregnancy with Lachlan and he was born right on his due date, this pregnancy will be very different. I have anxiety, and I imagined every little thing that could go wrong while I was pregnant with Lachlan. He had a rather difficult delivery, but everything turned out the best that it could have, given the situation. I didn't have to have a C-section or use forceps. He has been a very healthy baby and either right on target or ahead of his milestones. I had great blood pressure, didn't have gestational diabetes, and worked out throughout my whole pregnancy.

I know that just because Lachlan was so healthy doesn't guarantee that every pregnancy after that would be. But it did give me a little more piece of mind than my first pregnancy. Of course there's always the chance of having a preemie, down syndrome, the cord around the neck (and the list goes on and on), but I felt a little more confident this second time around. I haven't taken as many pregnancy tests as last time and I felt like I could handle any surprise the doctor threw at me. I was wrong.

We're in the middle of finals (our last semester at SVU) so there's been a lot of stress tied up in that. Like I said earlier, I can't keep secrets, so we told parents right away that we're pregnant, but we decided to announce to the public after the first doctor's visit, like we did with Lachlan. And let me give a little more background. The doctor I went to with Lachlan only took a urine sample and asked if I was taking any medications. So basically they told me what I already knew through home pregnancy tests but it was nice to have it confirmed by a doctor. At that office, they didn't give ultrasounds until 13 weeks, but we were moving to California to work for the summer so we asked if we could get an ultrasound before then. They said no, and I assumed that it was just standard procedure everywhere. Well...our insurance didn't work in California...so I didn't go to the doctor. I had a lot of people scold me for this. Whatever. Things turned out fine. My mommy intuition told me it was okay. But I was able to find a 3-D ultrasound place while in California and at 20 weeks, I finally got to see Lachlan. It still hadn't seemed quite real up until the point that I got to see a picture of him and find out that he was a boy. When I was pregnant with Lachlan, I had a lot of dreams of twins and really hoped that he would be. So I was a little disappointed when there was just one baby on the screen. I wanted a boy and girl twin. But I got over that disappointment quickly once Lachlan was born and I found out how challenging just one baby can be.

Fast forward to 2 days ago, I just wanted to get the appointment over with because I assumed that they would only be taking my pee again. Bear was in a final and I had to take a friend to watch Lachlan in the waiting room. I switched to a different office because I had more friends go there and love it, and they had certified nurse midwives, which I wanted to go with this time around. Now I see why my friends liked this place better. I got an ultrasound at 8 weeks! I was so surprised but happy that my 45 minute drive to the office was going to be more worth my time. The ultrasound nurse was very kind and was trying to show me my ovaries at first (it all just looked like grey matter to me). But when she kept moving over my uterus, it looked weird. I could tell there was something in there, but it was hard to locate the baby. It must be because the baby is only the size of a kidney bean at this point and I might be seeing the yolk sac and placenta, I thought. She zoomed in, and I saw the baby's heartbeat fluttering away. I was instantly in love. But wait. Why is there another heartbeat above it? Is that the placenta pumping blood? Then the nurse said, "I have no other way to tell you this, but it's twins!" Then I saw it was two separate babies. Two little kidney beans. I literally said "Ohmygosh" 10 times in a row. Everyone asked if I cried, but  I didn't. My eyes just widened and I've been in shock ever since.

I had had a dream the night before the appointment that it was twins, but thought that it was just like when I was pregnant with Lachlan and didn't think anything of it. So I had to check that I wasn't dreaming while in the ultrasound room.

They're identical because they're in the same gestational sac (the black part in the picture - this couldn't happen if they were fraternal). This means either two girls or two boys because they split from the same zygote. And if they were in separate gestational sacs, there would literally be a line in the middle of my uterus and there would be two black sections. They share a placenta, so there's a little risk with that, but they are in separate amniotic sacs (which is a good thing). Otherwise, they could get tangled in each other's cords or compress each other's cord and restrict oxygen. Identical twins are 3 in 1,000 births. Funny that I was ready for depressing news from the doctor, but this news was the last thing from my mind. All twins are 33 in 1,000 births. The nurse said they'd been having a lot of twins lately.

So now we need a lot more baby gear, even if they're boys. Bear really wants them to be boys, I really want them to be girls. I'm afraid if having 3 boys that close in age, they'll get into all sorts of trouble and just egg each other on. Poor Lachlan has no idea what's coming. Now I'm having different anxiety - about not having the full 9 months to prepare for a baby and that they'll come super early and have all sorts of health problems and I'll have to leave them at the hospital and they'll be in incubators...or that I'll go full term and look like a whale. And how the heck am I going to breastfeed twins?! I feel as unsure as a new mom again. Twin pregnancies usually have to have more checkups and are more high risk and are more likely to end in C-sections (NO!) Hopefully they'll each have smaller heads than Lachlan and they'll both slip right out. (Fingers crossed)

Bear loved having Lachlan sleep on his chest (and still does) - I don't. It makes it so I can't breathe. So yesterday Bear's eyes lit up, and he said, "now I get to have two babies sleep on my chest at the same time!"

I thought life would slow down after graduation. Then we got pregnant. Now it's twins. Heavenly Father has a sense of humor sometimes. ("No sleep for you!")

Q&A:

Q: Do twins run in my family?
A: They haven't been able to prove that identical twins are hereditary. Scientists aren't even sure why the fertilized egg splits in the first place, and if it's because of the mom or dad. Fraternal twins are hereditary because hyper-ovulation is hereditary. Even though it hasn't been proven, my dad's younger sister has identical twin girls and my dad's dad has two different siblings that each have their own identical twins...this will be the 4th pair of identical twins in 3 generations...so it has to be genetic.

Q: Was this a surprise pregnancy?
A: We were thinking about getting pregnant again soon, but definitely after I had graduated. Right when we thought that - WHAM! The same thing happened with Lachlan. We were thinking about it, but a few more months in the future. So it was a little bit of a surprise, but not completely out of nowhere. The twin thing was a surprise for sure though.

Q: Are you going to go natural?
A: I would love to not have a C-section and to have a healthy birth again. But twins are more high-risk. So I'm going to be switched to a doctor, not a nurse-midwife. I'd love to try natural again, but if their heads are anything like Lachlan's were, I might give in an get an epidural again.

Q: Have you been feeling extra sick?
A: No, just super hungry. With Lachlan, nothing sounded good so I wasn't eating as much and lost a lot of weight. Now I just want to eat a little bit all day. If I don't eat, I feel sick. I've only thrown up twice - once because of the smell of giblets cooking the night before Thanksgiving, and once when I gagged myself on accident while brushing my teeth. I have felt a little nauseous here or there, but I can usually eat and it will go away. I haven't been bed-ridden because of it.

Q: Do you know if they're boys or girls yet?
A: No, because I'm only 8 weeks along. The earliest they can tell is 14, but usually wait until 20 weeks just to be sure.

Q: How far apart will your kids be?
A: If the twins are born right on their due date, 20 months exactly. But they'll probably be closer together than that now

Early pregnancy

I want to do better at documenting this pregnancy.

The PTSD of labor and delivery is creeping back. And I automatically think baby=baby+school. I have to keep reminding myself that by the time I have this baby, I will be done with school. It's just hard to imagine what that will actually be like so it's hard to talk myself into it.

I'm so glad that I'll be done with school. I don't think I would've ever finished if I had taken a break.

I'm scared because we don't know where we'll be living in July, when this baby is due.

I am the worst at keeping it a secret.

Some things are still very similar to Lachlan's pregnancy. I want to take a million pregnancy tests all day just to make sure. I can't wait for my first doctor's appointment to confirm. I feel like Sue from SNL. I can't keep secrets. But we're going to wait til 7-8 weeks to announce this one too.

I kept thinking of Lachlan as a baby until Sunday when I took my pregnancy test. Now I keep thinking of him as the older brother and think of him as a walking, talking toddler.

I would love to have a girl, but I'm trying to not get my hopes up and be happy with whichever - boy or girl.

Yosemite

We just had a quick day trip on August 18th. Yes, we realize Lachlan is way too big for the bjorn, but we needed something to hold him while we hiked. 

We hiked about a mile each way to the Grizzly Giant. The tree has been measured many times, most recently in 1990 by Wendell Flint. It has a volume of 34,005 cubic feet (962.9 m³), making it the 25th largest giant sequoia living today.

Look at the roots of this tree!

Resting at the Grizzly Giant

We made it!

Lachlan petting the horse that took us on a stagecoach ride.

Funny story, Bear's wallet fell out of his pocket while we were sitting in front of the Wawona Hotel. We had to call the hotel and have a staff member go look for it for us. And luckily, it was still there - we weren't even sure that was where he had dropped it. Yosemite was just under 2 hours from our apartment. Bear planned to go back and get his wallet within the next couple of days. But then we heard about the fire in Yosemite and started freaking out that we wouldn't be able to get back in! But we were coming in from the south side and that way was still open at the time. Lucky, lucky! I can't wait for more family vacations and day trips in the future.

CRAZY

Life has been a little too crazy lately. So I'll try to catch up.

1. We made as much money as we did last summer, so I'd call it a success. It wasn't fun moving coast to coast while I was pregnant, but it was way less fun with a baby. If we end up selling for Dewey again next year, we've made the decision that Lachlan and I live with my parents for a few weeks in May and June, while Bear sells really hard, and then we'll have the rest of the summer free. We haven't had a free summer since we got married. We plan to apply for the Nauvoo pageant this Fall. *fingers crossed*

2. We've made it through the first week of our last semester as undergrads. Bear has 15 credits, I only have 7. I'm retaking my Senior Paper, and that's basically what I'm poring myself into this semester. Even 12 credits was too much for me with a bebbe. So I only have one class in the morning Mon-Thurs, and no class on Friday. Bear has all 15 credits on Tues/Thurs, with no class on MWF. His eligibility is up for baseball (we're quite sad about that), but now he has time to work during the semester and he has applied a few different places. This semester is also crunch time. Bear will be going to as many job fairs as he can, and trying to narrow down what he wants to do after we graduate.

3. Lachlan was/is teething this whole trip. So as we're packing up, driving across the country, changing time zones, trying to move in and go back to school...all 3 of us have had no sleep. I honestly can't remember the last time I got 3 hours straight. I've tried Highland's teething tablets, I let him comfort nurse...his teeth broke through yesterday so I thought that was the end, and then there was last night...no end seems to be in sight. If I didn't have Bear, all my hair might have been pulled out by now.

4. But despite all of this craziness, we're excited to be back in the humidity and to have 1 pm church again. If we've made it this far, we can make it through this semester!

Our Life Lately

As if I didn't have a baby face enough, my cheek was swollen for almost a week after wisdom tooth surgery.

Lachlan + Summer = summer love. They have such a love-hate relationship. They almost act like siblings. Dewey babies forever.

He looked like a little farmer boy in his oshkosh overalls.

We went to Solvang for the first time and hung out with the Arntzes and Sniders! We rode the big family bikes around and went shopping in the boutiques.

This boy can't get enough seaweed.

Lachlan got his first freshly picked moccasins! I love that he can't take them off of his feet.

My little baseball boy

We went to the Monterey aquarium! I didn't plan it, but Lachlan has whales on his outfit.

We have fun, hospitable in-laws who got us into the aquarium for free. This is right as we were about to leave. Can you tell the kids were done?

My niece Opal. I love her gut. She's only 4 months old and weighs 4 pounds more than Lachlan

We made pizza at Nate and Izzy's. (Please don't judge my  "I just woke up from a Sunday nap hair")

Do you believe that these cousins are 4-1/2 months apart?

Still working out 6 times a week! Only 1 week left of Insanity!!! Then I'm going to start T25

I have arranged for Lachlan and Summer to be married.

This Pad Thai was to die for. And they put into a cool call. I can't get enough Asian food.

New Face

The blog has had a face lift! Thanks to the lovely Meg Fleshman.

I've been waiting to post while my blog was under construction.

Here is Meg's blog:

The Ink & Anchor

She also designed the blog of our family photographer:

BMW Photography


Obviously she does a great job, so you should get in contact with her! I love her story. She is a good person.

P.S. I will update more often now!

Team Beachbody Coach

So I'm a Team Beachbody coach now. I never thought I would become one, but I feel really good about my decision. I believe in the product, but more than just selling, I'm loving the relationships that I'm developing. I love helping people. I love reaching out to and talking to people about how they can eat clean. I love teaching others and learning at the same time. It was scary to commit at first, because I was always looking for a quick fix. This isn't a quick fix. It's a lifestyle change. But now that I've committed, I'm happy that I've found what's right for my body. I want Lachlan to see how I'm eating and exercising. I don't want him to see me dieting and binging, always unhappy with my body. I haven't been weighing myself, but I have less than 3 weeks left of Insanity. I've only skipped a day so far. So I don't know how much weight I've lost, but I can tell I'm a little more toned. More importantly, I just feel all around better.

I've been drinking shakeology for a month now and my body feels so much cleaner. I have much more energy. And I mean a lot more. Even if I have a bad night with Lachlan, I might feel a little sleepy the next day, but I don't feel drained like I used to. I have more confidence. I have less anxiety and depression. And it's all a mix of the endorphins from working out, helping others, having a healthier, stronger body, and finding something that is right for me. I'm not a pushy salesman. It took me a while to commit to Team Beachbody. So I understand that you probably have a lot of doubts too. But if you would like me to help you become more fit, I'd love to help you, whether you buy products under me or not. Because I really get satisfaction from helping you!

Wisdom Teeth Woes

Here is the story of my wisdom teeth. One of my parents had two on the top, and the other had two on the bottom. So they figured that their kids would either have the top two, the bottom two, none, or all four. My younger sister is going on a mission to Korea soon and the church requires you to get your wisdom teeth out before you leave so that you won't have to do it while on your mission. But lo and behold, she has none. Lucky.

I started going to the dentist every 6 months after I got married. I had 3 cavities the first time I went but I also hadn't been in years. They were almost root canals. It was gross. And my family is supposed to have good teeth. I brush my teeth every day. So I was kind of disappointed. Well, my dentist at school doesn't specialize in wisdom teeth so they couldn't take the special x-ray. They told me I should go get it checked out just in case, but they weren't bothering me and I didn't want to pay for it so I forgot about it. 6 months later, I was pregnant so they didn't take an x-ray. 6 months later, they told me it looked like I had all four wisdom teeth but again they couldn't tell on their regular x-rays. They referred me to a specialist over an hour away and told me it would be about $1,000. We don't have insurance. Awesome. I wanted to wait until after the summer when we had more time and money. 

But then I started getting intense headaches when we got out to Fresno. One of Bear's coworker's cousins is a dentist. We decided to go see him because of the pain a couple of weeks ago. As you can see, I only had 3 wisdom teeth. (I thought you could only get them in multiples of two?) Again, I'm not fitting the expectations of my family's genetics. The trident looking thing is my earring. My top one needs to come out. There's no room. But the bottom ones aren't impacting, aren't infected, and the roots are super long and curve towards the back like the shape of an "L". They also both run through a huge nerve that affects most of my face. The surgery would be long, complicated, and there's a chance the nerve could get damaged during surgery. The recovery would be long too. So he recommended just getting the top one out. It's okay to leave the bottom two unless there's an infection. 

So...this is a huge relief because I didn't want a long, complicated surgery and I'm scared of anesthesia (I've never gone under before). But I'm also scared of pain. So knowing that I don't have to get all 4 out, and that I don't have to go under makes me feel better. The appointment is set for July 29th! Wish me luck!

P.S. The headaches had nothing to do with my wisdom teeth. The dentist touched spots on my face and head and inside my mouth that should be sensitive if it was the wisdom teeth. But I was fine. It ends up that a lot of people that are new to the area get headaches. I don't know if it's the water, or the air or what. But they have gone away now. I just want this tooth out so I can have some peace of mind!

Lachlan iPhone photo update

I love Lachlan's baseball bib. His head is also as round as a baseball.

Why I will never spend more than $10 on sunglasses. (If he doesn't do it, I'll break them on accident)

The 4th of July blast off pops - Lachlan knows what's yummy

Pulling himself up and crawling all over furniture now

The stink bug sleeping position

On vacation in Monterrey

Grandma Price flew in to CA to see two of her sons and their families. Lachlan hadn't seen grandma since New Years in South Carolina! 

Meeting cousin Opal for the first time! She's 3 months old but almost as big as Lachlan.

Lachlan experiencing the beach for the first time. He was obsessed with the sand.

Bebbes everywhere!

He never got excited about his blocks until his friend Summer got excited about them.

Free slurpee day! That was an adventure! They had to lock the doors because too many people were in the Seven Eleven because it was a fire hazard.

Lachlan went to the zoo for the first time but he was more interested in people watching  and playing with the kids that went with us than the animals.

Lachlan knows what's good (bacon).

He tried to eat a rubber band but realized that it didn't taste good.

He also didn't like the taste of pickles but swallowed them anyways. Bear thinks that this proves his paternity because Bear hates pickles too.

One hand!

He couldn't get enough seaweed.

Lachlan is 8 months old

It's Lachan's 8 month birthday today! That definitely sounds like an older baby to me.

His two bottom teeth have definitely come through. Nursing and fishing things out of his mouth with my finger have gotten more painful. He can "high five" sometimes and sleeps with his butt in the air sometimes. He pulls himself up on furniture and is really steady. His legs are strong and he can only hold on with one hand (which he is quite proud of). He loves to be held (just for a few minutes) and then takes off to play again. Then he wants to be held a few minutes later. He is constantly moving and wiggling. If people ask to hold him, they give him right back because he's so wiggly. He tries to make as much noise as he can. There's no way I can take him to Young Women's with me. He loves when I read to him. I feel like this kid is going to be very precocious. 

Today was a struggle to get him to smile.

I tried everything.

He was determined to scowl and frown.

Up until now, I would just have to say "can you smile for mommy?" in a certain voice  and he would crack up laughing.

We started tickling him but he would stop smiling the second we let go.

This was as close as it got.

I think he looks a lot like my dad here.

Some days mom is his favorite, some days dad is his favorite.

I guess we all have days that we don't want to smile.

He's becoming his own person now.

He is so frustrated. He wants to walk. 

We aren't encouraging him to walk. He just wants to.

He pulls up on us and takes off. He's pulling us like a dog on a leash. We don't have to push him to walk.

This is his famous bear crawl. He gets up on all fours and walks around like Mowgli.

He's pretty darn fast at it too.

He will eat anything on the ground. And this isn't just a normal "I'll figure out what this is with my mouth". If he can swallow and eat it, he will. 

He wants to eat EVERYTHING!

He also sucks on his bottom lip now

We think it looks like a beak.

I love the back of his head.