Choices: Molding our Homes and Lives

From Dawn Antigua

1. Why and How to Offer Choices
• Why? develop inernal motivation, build indpendence
• How:
• Limited choices - Don't allow your limit or buttons to be pushed with an exorbitant amount of options.
• Follow through!!! - Only offer options you will carry out and be sure your "team" (spouse, babysitters, teachers, etc.) are informed and support you in following through.
• Logical consequences - Make options related (Ex. If you eat broccoli, you can have frozen yogurt too, or you can choose no broccoli, nor dessert).
• Make the BEST choice ENTICING - teach them life is truly win-win or lose-lose. That is Heavnly Father's plan.
• Set your child up to succeed
2. Patterns for Offering Choices (models from our Eternal Father)
• Genesis 2:16-17
• Invitation to make good choices (multiple options provied) - "any tree,except..."
• Forbid bad choice and name the negative consequence - "just not that, or you'll die"
• Proverbs Chapter 1
• Good choice and consequence provided
• Warning: bad choice and outcome named
• Re-mntion of good choice and positive outcome
• Malachi 3:10-11
• Invitation to make good choice ad consequence provided
• Encouragement/dare to try the good choice
• More positive outcomes listed
3. Making the Best Most Appealing
• Genesis 2:16-17 "Andthe Lord God commanded the man, saying, Of every tree of the garden thou mayest freely eat: But of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, thou shalt not eat of it: for in the day that thou eatest thereof thou shalt surely die."
• What are the choices? What are the consequences, stated or implied?
• Alma 37:35 Learn wisdom in thy youth...so you must teach wisdom to the very young.
• Notice and support your children's interests and talents. Supplement and promote healthy interests. Also, identify your children's weaknesses and lovingly help them strengthen those as well.
• Validation: As you engage your children in activities athome, remember responsibilities (chores) and service arecritical pars of helping them feel like contribting membrs of the family and society as a whole.Elder Ballad reminded us in the last General Conference, that like the bee who makes just 1/12 tsp. of honey in its lifetime, each member of yur family and God's family is important and has a meaningful role.
• Self-reflection: What do I do and offer to keep my children engaged in worthwhile activites at home?
• How do I model, for example, what do I do in my free time?
• Am I living (demonstrating) a journey of persona development ad learning?
4. Thinking Things Through
• By offering choices and naming the outcome, we help children, ho developmenally are not prone to consider anything more than the immediae outcome, to do so.
• By listing choices and outcomes, we as parents have to think the scenario through an discipline ourselves to carry out consequence.
• Self-reflection: We teach through modeling (whether it is intentional or not). Consier, wat is the main take away lesson my children are gaining from our hoe and lifestyle?
• 3 Nephi 30:1-2 takeaway: Follow Christ and turn from sin, "that ye may be numbered with my people"