The Sad Week

So this is where I'm at with the college thing. I did get a 28 ACT score that qualified me for the big scholarship. My school counselor was calling SVU everyday for a week to get updates because we had our awards night coming up. They said they would try to let us know before the awards night. Well this was a crazy week. Everyday was agony wondering out if today was the day...or not. The awards night was on Wednesday. Monday the jazz band played at a town meeting. Tuesday I had to help YW get certified for Girls Camp. I could've spent a lot more time on it, but it still took quite a bit of time. And I was starting to come down with something (and it was that lovely time of the month), so I was super tired. Wednesday was the last day....

And my counselor got an email from SVU saying I didn't meet the criteria for the Marriott Scholarship. That printed off email was like a death sentence in my hands. Yes, I cried in the next class I was in. Me and my counselor figured out it was my GPA. I needed a 3.8, but I had a 3.79. We thought we had explained to them that my GPA was supposed to go up to a 3.8 by the end of the year. I guess we didn't read the fine print that I was supposed to have a 3.8 of my 7th semester. I felt pushed to my limit and felt like I had wasted so much time. And we figured out I could only afford to get one B this semester to get a 3.8 - which is hard when you have major senioritis. And I was borderline A- B+ in 2 classes. And finals were coming up that could doom my grade (if you're a senior and you're getting an A in the class, you don't have to take your May finals). Well I was sitting in this math class crying (this was one of the borderline classes). And my math teacher had said earlier that because I was so borderline, I wouldn't have to take it. But she had to ask the principal just in case and he said I had to take it. So I had to take a final that could affect my GPA that could affect the scholarship.

And to make matters worse, I bled through my pants during that class. What the heck? That never happens to me. Nobody saw and luckily I had brought extra clothes for the awards night that I could change into. But seriously. I'm 18. Not 13. That shouldn't be happening. And then I only got one tiny local scholarship at the awards night. Even though I worked so hard on a million of them. That was a huge waste of time too. And I didn't get my Marriott Scholarship handed to me that night. It did get announced that I was going to SVU that night though. So then all my classmates were like "WHAT? I thought you were going to BYU???" And I really wasn't in the mood to explain and I couldn't say where I'm going for sure yet. I so envied the girl that had a full ride somewhere. Her future was decided. And her or her family didn't have to pay for anything.

Well I got very sick the next day (probably from getting so upset). And we had a chorus concert that night - and I had a solo. My throat felt like it was on fire. And the scholarship upsetedness had carried over from the day before. Well, before the concert, they practiced and started without me. So I was running down the hall in dinky heels and tripped at the top stair. I'm usually clumsy and have trained to catch myself. I did...but my heel fell off and my tights made me slip down the rest of the stairs to the tile below. I was in shock and just laid there for a few seconds. People thought I was unconscious. When I sat up, everyone was staring at me. Hooray for me! Bleeding through my pants one day, tripping down the stairs the next day. What else could I do to show my maturity as an 18 year old senior? I held the tears and pain in during practice, but as we were trying on our robes, I broke down. Which made my face nice and blotchy. But it did feel good to let everything out. And my solo wasn't bad.

Well I felt very forsaken. It was a horrible week. I had to say no to BYU (because of a deadline), and the scholarship from SVU I was counting on didn't work out. I applied for colleges really early and thought I was ahead of my game and that I was going to get more local scholarships. I felt like a failure not knowing what I was going to do this Fall.

But now I have two jobs secured this summer that will give me as many hours as they can (and they're both church members so I won't have to work Sundays and I can ask off for churchy things). And SVU said because they could tell I really wanted the scholarship, they're making a special exception and they'll wait for my 8th semester grades. So I won't find out where I'm going still til at least after school gets out. But that looks a little better and I got an A- on my math final...so things are looking a little on the upside. I have less than a week of school now. And we're not even doing anything. The time is going by so quickly though. It feels like there's 8 hours in a day.

So as of now, I'm still saying I'm going to SVU. And that's what I'm making my senior poster on. I hope all of this made sense.