Wednesday, May 12, 2010

The Sad Week

So this is where I'm at with the college thing. I did get a 28 ACT score that qualified me for the big scholarship. My school counselor was calling SVU everyday for a week to get updates because we had our awards night coming up. They said they would try to let us know before the awards night. Well this was a crazy week. Everyday was agony wondering out if today was the day...or not. The awards night was on Wednesday. Monday the jazz band played at a town meeting. Tuesday I had to help YW get certified for Girls Camp. I could've spent a lot more time on it, but it still took quite a bit of time. And I was starting to come down with something (and it was that lovely time of the month), so I was super tired. Wednesday was the last day....

And my counselor got an email from SVU saying I didn't meet the criteria for the Marriott Scholarship. That printed off email was like a death sentence in my hands. Yes, I cried in the next class I was in. Me and my counselor figured out it was my GPA. I needed a 3.8, but I had a 3.79. We thought we had explained to them that my GPA was supposed to go up to a 3.8 by the end of the year. I guess we didn't read the fine print that I was supposed to have a 3.8 of my 7th semester. I felt pushed to my limit and felt like I had wasted so much time. And we figured out I could only afford to get one B this semester to get a 3.8 - which is hard when you have major senioritis. And I was borderline A- B+ in 2 classes. And finals were coming up that could doom my grade (if you're a senior and you're getting an A in the class, you don't have to take your May finals). Well I was sitting in this math class crying (this was one of the borderline classes). And my math teacher had said earlier that because I was so borderline, I wouldn't have to take it. But she had to ask the principal just in case and he said I had to take it. So I had to take a final that could affect my GPA that could affect the scholarship.

And to make matters worse, I bled through my pants during that class. What the heck? That never happens to me. Nobody saw and luckily I had brought extra clothes for the awards night that I could change into. But seriously. I'm 18. Not 13. That shouldn't be happening. And then I only got one tiny local scholarship at the awards night. Even though I worked so hard on a million of them. That was a huge waste of time too. And I didn't get my Marriott Scholarship handed to me that night. It did get announced that I was going to SVU that night though. So then all my classmates were like "WHAT? I thought you were going to BYU???" And I really wasn't in the mood to explain and I couldn't say where I'm going for sure yet. I so envied the girl that had a full ride somewhere. Her future was decided. And her or her family didn't have to pay for anything.

Well I got very sick the next day (probably from getting so upset). And we had a chorus concert that night - and I had a solo. My throat felt like it was on fire. And the scholarship upsetedness had carried over from the day before. Well, before the concert, they practiced and started without me. So I was running down the hall in dinky heels and tripped at the top stair. I'm usually clumsy and have trained to catch myself. I did...but my heel fell off and my tights made me slip down the rest of the stairs to the tile below. I was in shock and just laid there for a few seconds. People thought I was unconscious. When I sat up, everyone was staring at me. Hooray for me! Bleeding through my pants one day, tripping down the stairs the next day. What else could I do to show my maturity as an 18 year old senior? I held the tears and pain in during practice, but as we were trying on our robes, I broke down. Which made my face nice and blotchy. But it did feel good to let everything out. And my solo wasn't bad.

Well I felt very forsaken. It was a horrible week. I had to say no to BYU (because of a deadline), and the scholarship from SVU I was counting on didn't work out. I applied for colleges really early and thought I was ahead of my game and that I was going to get more local scholarships. I felt like a failure not knowing what I was going to do this Fall.

But now I have two jobs secured this summer that will give me as many hours as they can (and they're both church members so I won't have to work Sundays and I can ask off for churchy things). And SVU said because they could tell I really wanted the scholarship, they're making a special exception and they'll wait for my 8th semester grades. So I won't find out where I'm going still til at least after school gets out. But that looks a little better and I got an A- on my math things are looking a little on the upside. I have less than a week of school now. And we're not even doing anything. The time is going by so quickly though. It feels like there's 8 hours in a day.

So as of now, I'm still saying I'm going to SVU. And that's what I'm making my senior poster on. I hope all of this made sense.

1 comment:

Gina said...

Lexiness of the universe!
You have had a trying week. I still bleed through, infact I am bleeding right now, for the past 3 weeks. I bet your upsetness, pressure and stress you have been having made it worse.
I must confess I was hoping you would go to byu idaho, and take the train up to see us for thanksgiving... but that is the lala land my mind goes to sometimes. Good luck and you must relax now and enjoy this last week and eat chocolate. It helps.