This is another subject that I feel very passionately about because it's personal.
Anxiety and depression run on both sides of my family. I've always had a pretty good idea of what depression is, and luckily, I've never really had a problem with it. I feel like the symptoms are more obvious to the person suffering from it, and the people around them. It is serious, and it breaks my heart to think about people who have been suffering from it their whole lives and feel helpless. But it seems like there are a lot of resources out there for depression, whether it's counseling, therapy, medication etc etc.
But...what about anxiety? I feel like it's just another word that gets grouped with depression. It's so different though! It was just another word to me until about a year and a half ago, when I realized that I had it. And that I had had it since I was a little girl. I had a secure childhood, but for some reason I was afraid of everything. Now I looked at my whole life differently. I had made so many decisions based on fear.
Ever since I have discovered this, I've made a goal to work on it. Sometimes, I get so frustrated and feel like I've made no progress. Bear points out to me when I'm having an anxiety attack and I try to calm down. I try to overcome my silly little fears a little at time, like talking to people on the phone that I don't know. It's been a little easier since I've gotten pregnant, because I remind myself that my stress and negative feelings affect my baby too.
And since this discovery, I've met a lot of people who have nicety too, whether they know it themselves or not. A lot of these friends are members of my church. I had a good discussion with Bear and one of our good friends recently. He is about to make a huge life decision, and he shared the complicated story and all of his anxieties about it. Luckily, when I made the decision to marry Bear, I felt peaceful about it, felt peaceful about it the whole time we were engaged, and I've never looked back. But, I totally understood where he was coming from. On the other hand, when I stood back and looked at it from a third person point of view, it was so obvious. It's his anxieties that were holding him back. And Heavenly Father doesn't speak to us through anxieties and fears. So guess who does? I've heard over and over that faith is the opposite of fear. But sometimes it's hard to realize that what we're feeling is anxiety, not revelation. The Holy Ghost can't talk to us when we're consumed with anxiety. And like I said in my last post, that's the most important thing. The Lord wants to help us, and if we could just look past our anxieties, we could see that. Easier said than done, though.
I wish we talked about this more at church. I tried to find what the Bretheren have said about it, but I haven't found much. I really want to read this book, Meet Your Happy Chemicals: Dopamine, Endorphin, Oxytocin, Serotonin by Loretta Graziano Breuning. I'd really like some feedback. What has helped you, what articles or books have you read?
1 comment:
Anxiety is like speeding, You might be going way to fast but you don't seem to notice it as long as nothing is in your path and the road is straight. But as soon as you encounter an obstacle, things become panicky. A curve in the road, an other car pulls out in front of you, black ice, or a stop sign might cause you to lose control and even crash. That is how anxiety is. You might have anxiety all the time , but you are not aware of it until you encounter an obstacle or challenge.Then you are suddenly aware of it, but by that time you are out of control. Some people don't have a speedometer that works, so they are not aware that they are anxious until it is out of control. Sometimes medication is like having a speedometer that can help you monitor your anxiety. But it is never the total answer. You still need to learn the warning signs of speeding before encounter an obstacle. It sounds like Bear can help you realize you are anxious when you might not even realize it your self. Take time to pray at that time and ask for help. Bear might be able to see things that help decrease anxiety that you have never thought of. Isn't it great to be marred to someone who sees us how we are? But remember it is a lot harder to gain control when you are spinning out of control and others yelling to slow down and stop, Then before you have encountered the obstacle in the road. Awareness is the first step and it sounds like you are on the right path.
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