Sunday, April 13, 2008

Lexi's Spiritual Lows and Highs

I'd just like to share a spiritual experience. I had been a spiritual low the month before I went to Japan. And the sad thing was, I hadn't even noticed it. I had been so busy. Heavenly Father was completely pushed out of my life. I had no time for Him. I didn't notice this either. I was making friends with people lower than my standards. Gina tried to talk to me about it, but of course I just blew her off, because I couldn't see it myself. Looking back on it now, I can't believe I didn't listen to my best friend. I was going off on the wrong track. I was coming home late every night on a school night because I just had so much going on. I w as so stressed out. My spirit was crying out for me to talk to somebody. So I would come home crying every night talking to my mom. And Brother Rasmussen. But it just wasn't enough. I wasn't getting the help and advice that I needed, even though I knew both of them were trying their best.

Finally, one night while I was talking to my mom, (just a couple of nights before I went to Japan), she said that it's good that I'm talking to my mom about my problems and stress, but that I needed to talk to my Heavenly Father. Because He can give the best advice and help that I need. And he knows exactly what I'm going through. And I should be praying all the time. That's when I finally realized that I hadn't been praying or reading my scriptures for the past month. And my spirit had been crying out for me to talk to Heavenly Father, not just my mom and seminary teacher. It had just completely slipped out of my life, and I hadn't noticed. And that scared me. I was stressed out that night though, that I was crying and couldn't control myself. I wanted to say a prayer, but I had to have my mom help me. The second that prayer was done, I stopped crying, and I was able to sleep peacefully, and I felt the stress taken off me.

And even though the last few days before I went to Japan were so stressful it should have been enough to kill somebody, I was able to get through it all.

And so I had that amazing spiritual uplift in Japan. I came back to Utah on a spiritual, hyper high (Gina, too).

Finally, it was just a few days after I came back from Japan. I found out that Gina had been praying for me that I would notice what was going wrong while I was in Japan, and I would get back on the right road. Her prayer was answered perfectly. And to think she included me in her testimony during testimony meeting at youth conference. It should have been the other way around. I seriously don't know what I would do without Gina. I don't even want to think about what would have happened if Gina hadn't prayed for me. I might still be on my spiritual low and just downward spiraling.

This week, I've been getting ready for my patriarchal blessing. Reading my scriptures and praying everyday, going to mutual, bearing my testimony during fhe, taking good notes during General Conference, and not listening to bad songs. And Stake Conference was really good. I'm so glad I got to be a part of the youth choir. The 2 youth speaker's talks were very spiritual, and all the speakers after that said at least one thing about the youth. And I got to go straight to my patriarchal blessing after stake conference. I really liked my blessing. It was very positive and happy. And just talked about my future positively, and helped me feel at peace about my fears of the future. I can't wait until it comes in the mail!!! I want to read it again and again!!! I love spiritual highs!!!

5 comments:

maika said...

日記読んだよ。読んでるうちに涙がでてきたよ。Ginaがした働きはすごいね!!さすがGina☆困ったときは何よりも先に祈らなきゃいけないね。あとべドナー長老が行ってように努力しなきゃ。アレクサのその経験は辛かっただろうけど、アレクサが成長するうえではとってもいい経験だね^^


まいかも早く祝福師の祝福受けたくだってきた!!!

My name is Lexi said...

読んでくれてありがとう!!!Ginaがいなかったら、自分がどうなってるかわかんない。

I love you Maika <3
Get your blessing too

GRodenberg said...

i love spiritual highs too! But you wouldn't love them so much if you didn't have occasional lows and challenges. I am glad you got your blessing!

Aunty EM said...

I agree. You need the lows to have the highs. They wouldn't be very high without the lows. You are a wonderful spirit and I love you tons and tons!!!!! :)

DanGina said...

Lexi you are amazing and not a lot of people take a minute to take a step back and look at their life in the big picture and see what needs to be changed. . . but you did and i knew you would :D I look up to you! and i'm way excited for you about your blessing too. Remember to read it often and ponder it, it will guide you and direct you in life. Mine does!! Love ya!