Marriage

A retired Marriage and Family professor from BYU is serving as a Senior Missionary (with his wife) in our ward here in Fresno. His name is Douglas Brinley. My mom took some classes from him while she was at BYU. We found out that we have a connection with the wife of their grandson - her family was in our ward in Japan. The world is a very small place.

Anyways, we were invited over to dinner at their house last Sunday along with another Dewey couple. While they are here in Fresno, the Brinleys have been doing firesides on marriage. The problem is hat he usually speaks on Friday nights, and Bear works late. But it just so happened that he was doing a fireside especially for a certain ward the day they invited us over for dinner. Bear has Sundays off. I was so excited to go! I was ready to take all these notes.

But his message was simple. And once I heard it, I felt very silly because it was exactly what our Sealer had said on our wedding day. I don't know why I was looking for a deeper, more profound message. Elder Brinley said that we are told to be better listeners, communicators, etc by all these marriage self-help books. You won't be able to find any General Conference talks or modern revelation on the marriage advice we usually think of. Instead, all we have to do is pray and read scriptures every day together as a couple. This of course sounds very simple, but we always forget. It's hard to find time in our hectic schedules to remember to take the time for these two things. But it's all about priorities. And time management. Is it worth it to take a few minutes out of my Facebook and Pinterest time to strengthen my marriage every day? Definitely. 

I want the Lord to bless our marriage and I want to become a better person by taking the time to read and pray every day. But more importantly, I want the Spirit to be with us. That is the most important thing. That way I can become the best version of myself and be more sensitive to Bear's needs. I want to take the time to do the little things and have those build up. I want to be like the Brinleys, who practice what they preach. I want a happy marriage, one that lasts. 

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I try not to post political things on my blog, but because I am LDS (Mormon), my beliefs will slip out every once in a while. I'm also planning on doing a post about some other marriage advice that I've been reading about recently that is not religious, but I feel that this post was more important. I don't want to preach or have people think that I'm looking down on them. Or forcing my beliefs onto you. I just want to share things that I feel are important to me.

The best love story is your own

Well, I promised our love story. Bear might tell it differently, but here it goes.

I was a little giggly freshman at SVU the Fall of 2010. Bear was back at SVU after his mission and was on the baseball team. I went on a couple of dates with other guys, who promised me second dates and then left me out to dry. My little heart was broken. (Don't promise me and then ignore me!) Anyways, I was interested in a guy on the baseball team...a few of them actually...sadly, none of them were Bear. The baseball team would go lift weights for an hour at 5:30 in the morning. So being the silly little freshman that I was, I would go to the gym at 6:30 am towards the end of their workout, and then go to breakfast in the cafeteria not long after they headed over there too. 

Thinking back on this, it all seems so silly. I would never ever wake up at 6:30 to work out any more. And I thought I was being all sneaky, but HELLO, they probably noticed I was only working out 10-15 minutes. Quite frankly, I was shamelessly creeping on them in public. Gosh.

So I met Bear a couple of weeks later at a game night. We both happened to be invited. He was wearing a light denim jacket and light denim jeans - something straight out of the 80's - in a bad way. (Don't worry, I buy his clothes for him now). Bear seemed friendly, pretty cute and fun. We all played a silly game and went home. I facebook stalked him that night. He kind of seemed too good to be true. My roommates started coming with me in the mornings because they started realizing how cute the baseball players were too. I don't know how I missed Bear before, but he was always at breakfast. After the game night, we always sat with him. We were in different sections of the same class and went on a field trip to Monticello together. I started to have a tiny crush on him, when one morning my bold roommate said to him, "you're pretty cute, you should ask me to homecoming!" Immediately, my jealousy flared because I would've never been able to be that bold and because I felt like I had more claim on him because I met him first. But my little heart was crushed again when he told my roommate that he already had a girlfriend.

A long-distance girlfriend, in fact. She was all the way in California and we were in Virginia. But I wasn't going to be a home-wrecker so I decided to stop liking Bear then and there. So we stayed friends and hung out in big groups. But one day, two weeks before Thanksgiving, Bear announced that he was taking his girlfriend home to South Carolina to meet his family during the break. All of the sudden, I freaked out. That sounded pretty serious to me!!! What if he's going to propose soon? They're going to be kissing and hanging out and having fun...and...At this point, I realized how much I still liked Bear. I was jealous. Way more jealous than when my bold roommate asked about the dance. If he got married, I'd lose his friendship. Even though I had tried to stuff those feelings deep down, I knew that I needed him in my life.

I was torn between letting him know before he left, because I knew this was probably my last chance, but again, I didn't want to be a home-wrecker. I stressed out so much about it, until one day I couldn't even sleep because I was over-thinking it. I HAD to tell him. So I texted him, "what if I told you I was jealous of your girlfriend?" What does that even mean? Gah, Lexi. Come on. 
He texted back, "I like you too, but I have to be fair to my girlfriend and talk to her. I haven't seen her in a few months and I still need to give her a chance." Wait, what?! He liked me too???!!! And now I'm turning into a girlfriend stealer. Awesome. And now I'm in a super awkward situation. I shouldn't see him before Thanksgiving.

I didn't say anything else. I went to my roommate's home in North Carolina for Thanksgiving. And I didn't text Bear the whole break. It was torture for me. But he never said anything either, so I figured that things must have gone well with his girlfriend. I was starting to feel my little heart break again. Finally, the Saturday after Thanksgiving (which is the day Lachlan was born, now that I think about it), I couldn't stand it any more. I casually texted him asking how his break went. He didn't text back very quickly and was vague. So this is it. Things went well with his girlfriend, and he just doesn't want to break it to me. 

The plan was to go to church in the morning and drive back to school. But all of the sudden, Bear texts me asking if he can follow us back to school. He had been having car troubles lately, and his mom wanted him to travel with someone just in case. I started freaking out again but didn't see through his plan. Nothing happened on the way home, except that he shared his Thanksgiving leftovers with us. I had no idea what to say to the guy. But as we're getting near to the school, he asks if he can talk to me once we get there. What?! Oh no! He's going to break the news to me! I can't handle this!!!

It ends up that things had not gone well with his girlfriend. She had been keeping some stuff from him, including the fact that she kissed a bunch of other guys and girls (WHAT?!) Bear wanted to end things, and she went home early because she was upset. We talked about how we liked each other, and ended up kissing that night. Everything had happened so fast, I couldn't take it all in.

We hung out every night after that after we were both done working. After two weeks of this, I asked him if he wanted to go to the Christmas dance. My roommates got me ready, and I had a super fun time. There were still a couple of awkward things including his girlfriend calling him while the two of us were hanging out trying to get back together with him. Oh, and sending him a nasty letter. 

So there were three weeks of hanging out everyday until Christmas break started. He was going back home to SC, and I was going straight to Utah to spend time with my grandpa who had cancer. My family was going to meet me there. Even looking back on it now, everything happened so fast, but it didn't feel like it at the time. So I told him I loved him on the last day of finals. I really did love him. But he honestly told me that he couldn't quite say it back yet. Oh no! I've ruined everything! I look too clingy! He doesn't even like me! I cried into my roommate, exhausted from finals and throwing myself out there. 

So we were "dating" for 6 weeks, and three of those were Christmas break, spent apart from each other. I skyped, texted, and called Bear every day. My relatives joked about us and it bugged me. We've only been dating a few weeks and he hasn't even told me that he loved me! Leave me alone! Bear came and picked me up from the airport and he surprised me by taking me to a Japanese restaurant.  And he gave me my Christmas present - a box from a jewelry store. Is he proposing? Is that a ring? asjhfkjdbgnasilfuaj,mnbksfdjlbnkvh Freak freak freak! This is too soon! But it was just a pearl necklace. Phew! I really care about this guy, but we haven't been dating long enough. I wouldn't have even known what to say if it had been a ring. 

A couple of days after I got back to school, there was a back to school dance that we went to, and afterwards, he talked to me about meeting my parents. But he had baseball and had games during all of the breaks in Spring semester. Looking at our schedules, we decided there wouldn't be any parent meetings of any kind until after the semester was over. "Besides, I believe in dating for a long time, and then having a short engagement," he said. Did he just say engagement?!!! I can't handle all of this! He's thinking about marrying me? Well at least I'll have a few months til he proposes and think about my answer. 

The next day after church, I went to have dinner at his house. All of the sudden, he jumped up. "Let's go on a walk!" he said. I looked outside. It was a gloomy, cloudy, cold early January day. "Okay..." I said skeptically. We walked all the way back up to campus. Up the huge hill. It was freezing. My nose started dripping. Great. We made it to Main Hall, built in the 1860's. This big, red, Victorian building with a million turrets is the main landmark at our school. We stood on the old porch and looked down at the rest of the town. He held me close to warm me up. Out of nowhere he asked, "Alexa, will you marry me?" Oh crap. My mind started freaking out again. This time it's real. What happened to the long dating/short engagement talk we had yesterday? He needs an answer! I haven't had time to think about this! But, suddenly, I had such a good feeling in my heart. So warm and good. I immediately knew what my heart was telling me. "Yes." And I knew that was the right answer. I never doubted my answer after that. 

A lot of people criticized us for the way we did things.We didn't date long enough. Bear didn't ask my dad for permission, let alone meet them. He didn't have a ring. He didn't get down on one knee. (He did later, once he bought the ring). But I wouldn't have had it any other way. Bear went and prayed about it the night before and followed the Spirit. If he had waited, I would have over-thought it. And this way I got to pick out the ring I wanted. 

I didn't regret my answer while I was engaged, and I still haven't. Bear is the exact person that I need. We're living happily, and will continue to do so ever after.

2 Years

Yesterday was our 2nd Wedding Anniversary. It's crazy how fast time flies and that we have a baby now. I was hoping to have been graduated by now, but I'm close. It's wonderful to have someone who believes in you. I love him.

Bear is a very good daddy. I had no real doubts before the baby was born, but Bear has been very protective and involved from the first few minutes of Lachlan's life. Even though he doesn't feed the baby because Lachlan is breastfed, Bear has become the expert at putting the baby to sleep. Bear gives me breaks as often as he can and takes the baby a lot in church. When I took Lachlan to his first pediatrician appointments, the doctor kept commenting on how well I was doing. My mom said it was because I was getting so much support and help from Bear. And at church last Sunday, he came in to Relief Society right before it started asking if he wanted me to take Lachlan. An older lady turned to me after he left and commented, "my husband would have never done that for me." I know she was from a different era and now-a-days a lot of dads approach parenthood as more of a partnership with their wives, but it made me all the more grateful for Bear. I can't let myself take him for granted. 

We're going through a rough patch with Lachlan's sleeping. But Bear gets up all night with the baby so that I can sleep (without even having to be asked). And Bear is the one who has to get up and go to work. Even though I'm the stay-at-home mom, I feel like he's the better parent. 

I had fun editing our wedding pictures yesterday waiting for Bear to come home so we could go on our date. We went to the Cheesecake Factory and got cheesecake of course! Bear's team leader Derek, who has a 4-month-old of his own came and sat in our apartment while Lachlan was asleep. Thank you!

In honor of our anniversary, I;m going to post our love story. Stay tuned!

Bear's Oreo cheesecake

My chocolate raspberry mouse cheesecake

Pumpkin Patch

Life has been crazy busy, but has also been very good to us. I've had 3 tests, 2 presentations and a major paper since I last updated, which I thought were going to be the end of me. Tutoring has been coming along. I make $60 a month. And it's just about as much as I can handle right now. 
 
General Conference was just what I needed. I got my answers and it really helped me through these crazy school weeks. We passed our first cleaning checks too (which were a nightmare!), which is something that makes us very happy. I've also started making dinner every night. I get the ideas from Pinterest.com. Some days I'm too stressed out and Bear says, "let's just have leftovers." Those words are just what I need to hear (even though there's usually no leftovers). But I'm pretty proud of myself knowing that I'm budgeting, eating healthy, and making good food for me and Bear. I'll be sure to post some of the good things I've gotten from that lovely site. 
 
One of my presentations was in my Political Philosophy class. I was super nervous and asked Bear to give me a blessing. It's an upper division class, and I had to be prepared for the questions and debating comments my classmates would throw at me at the end of the class. I felt like I did a horrible job, but I got 44/45. So prayers and preparation do work. And somehow I've been able to stay on top of my homework. It's kind of a miracle.
 
 I went to my first drive-in movie last weekend. It was my second time seeing The Help, but Bear hasn't seen it yet. I cried even harder this time. There was something so fun about sitting in the back of our truck bundled up in blankets in the fall night weather that made me really happy about life at that moment. 
The leaves are starting to change outside. There's this one particular tree that I can see from our living room window that is absolutely breathtaking. Tuesday was a day off from school for going to the DC Temple. I really wanted to go, but we had just recently been and it's 3 hours one way. I felt so guilty, but I felt like I just needed to focus on me and Bear and to take a breather after our crazy two weeks. One of the things on our Fall bucket list was to go to a pumpkin patch, and I found this one about an hour away from us in Monroe, VA. The whole drive was gorgeous. We drove along the Jame River in the Blue Ridge Mountains with all the colorful trees. Virginia is so beautiful. This little old man owned this pumpkin patch in the middle of nowhere. We were pretty much the only ones there. We picked out unique gourds, along with a white pumpkin and a pink one! Pink I tell you! It's actually more of a salmon color, but I claim it as pink. The little old man with the Appalachian Virginian accent said he'd never seen one like it before. Usually that kind has little brown knobs all over it. But this one was acne free! I'm quite happy. Decorating them has made me quite happy too.

We are very happy. I hope you are too. We're going on a hay ride and to a corn maze this Saturday. I'm really excited!

Birthday Week

The picture above is on our drive last Saturday to the DC Temple. The fog was super pretty.
 
I gave blood on Tuesday. It was my third time trying, and my second successful time. I gave in September of last year and tried in November, but had a really traumatic experience and had to wait awhile, and I'm glad it worked out. All this time I thought O positive was the universal blood type donor, but found out that day it was O negative. I don't feel as special now. We also got our refund checks from school. That definitely makes a girl happy. We went to Lee-hi's that night to get our blood sugar up again from giving blood.
 
^ These are our friends Josh and Rachel. They're both from North Carolina.
My birthday was on Wednesday! I'm officially 20. For awhile now I've been excited to get out of my teenage years, but now I feel kind of old. I kind of had a melt down on my birthday because it was such a busy day. Bear kept telling me to forget that it was my birthday, because we were going to celebrate on Saturday. But I love birthdays. So it was hard for me, but I got through the day and we went to Lee-hi's again that night :) My birthday was also my first day of tutoring. I tutor a few freshman football players. It's fun for me because I love history and it helps me review for my Western Civ II class at the same time.
 
Thursday was my second day of tutoring and I didn't feel as stupid. I went to a very good piano concert that was a student's senior recital that day too. After the concert and a meeting about being a music minor, it just reminded me why I'm not crazy enough to be a music major.
 
^ This is our silly kitty. I promise we're not animal abusers, but this just shows how he lets us do whatever. He's kind of a dog. And we love him. He doesn't play fetch yet, but he waits for us to come home, he wants to eat human food all day, and lets us totally handle him without freaking out. And we figured out he looks just like Tom from Tom and Jerry. Look it up. The're even gray and white in the same places.
 
On Friday, I got a duvet for a bed so that we don't have to fight over all my little blankets I've had since I was a little girl all night. And an iron too! Now I can quilt and iron Bear's dress shirts. On Friday night, we got invited to go to Roanoke by Andrew and Brandy, and we went to Red Lobster. It was my first time because I don't like seafood. So I ordered the shrimp linguine alfredo without shrimp haha. I loved the biscuits and I have to admit the coconut shrimp Bear got was pretty good. And then we went and watched Moneyball. Bear and Andrew loved it of course because they're on the SVU baseball team. But it had beena long week for me and I totally fell asleep during the movie. I've never done that during a movie at the movie theater before. I liked the concept though. It was a good date night!
 
We went to Roanoke again on Saturday because we had been planning it for while. Bear let me go on a shopping spree. We got Bear all new baseball gear too because he really needed it. And we planned to go to Wasabi's, my favorite Japanese restaurant, here was a carnival of some sort downtown and we couldn't really get to it. So we went to Red Robin's - another first for me. We got this fun onion ring tower hee hee. After we got home, I had a small birthday bbq on the Maury River with our friends. The water was the perfect temperature. And this is where I discovered that I don't like brats. I get to choose the meat next time.
 
^ I took this picture on our Sunday walk today. I've decided that I like green mountains way more than the Rockies. I love Virginia.

Here's to another crazy week!

DC Temple

My poor blog suffers. But not that I'm back in school, it goes to the bottom of my to-do list or my grades die. And I keep realizing that I'm not taking pictures at all. I just keep going going going everyday doing the bare necessities. Yes, I have to plan time to read, quilt, or any such lesiurely activity. I'm not saying I'm busier than everyone else, but I'm back to having to write every tiny thing into my schedule so that I can remember it.

I'm happy because I have visiting teachers again. By again, I mean after 2 years. I've been visiting teaching since my 18th birthday (minus this summer in Cali), but have only been visited once. It's quite nice. Especially when she brings pumpkin chocolate chip cookies. (But it's not okay when my cat is trying to get into them as we're visiting. Oh, kitty).

That poor cat is having an identity crisis. He doesn't respond to his name, he gallops like a horse, but totally acts like a dog, and has bunny paws. He doesn't act like a cat at all. And he gets to lonely because he's an indoor kitty now and we're so busy :(

I'm a tutor! I don't know why I'm so excited, but I just am. It's for a general ed class called America and the Englightenment (history). I had to get recommended by my teacher from last year. And I thought I didn't do that good in that class. I only work 2 hours a week, but I do get paid. Now it makes me feel a little more independent.We'll see how it goes!

This past weekend was Stake Temple Day, so I got to go do a session in the DC Temple for the first time! I did baptisms there last year. It's huge! I lost Bear in the temple because I've only been in the Nauvoo temple with him which is tiny, and when I went to another huge temple (Los Angeles), I was by myself. I was almost in tears. It ends up he had a clothing mishap that took him a while. But I can't explain how happy he was when he walked in the door and sat next to me. I know it sounds sappy, but it was a moment of realization of how sad I'd be if we lost each other forever. But I know that will never happen, because we've been through the temple together :)

It gave me a peace that I really needed. It gave me a good perspectve f the future.

After the temple, we went to Bear's brother Nate and his wife Izzy's house. They live in DC too on a military base and it was good to spend time with them. Yet again, I meant to take pictures, but failed. Bear and Nate had an intense 10 minute session of wrestling where they were both panting and sweating. Silly boys.

Then we drove home and met Rachel at Waffle House. I know it's as disgusting place, but we love it.

I got to substitute for the piano in Primary on Sunday. And we had John and Trisha over for dinner.

It got really cold this weekend. When I wanted Fall, I didn't mean winter.

But I love all I'm learning. College is good. And Bear is good.

My birthday is in 2 days! I won't be a teenager any more!

Back to College

I've been dying to blog, but it's been another crazy week. Bustard survived the drive to Virginia. He seemed to be over-heating and wouldn't east, drink, or go to the bathroom the whole way there. And he was breathing hard. So I was a little bit worried, but he seems fine now. started getting sick the Sunday that we drove to Virginia. It was never anything major, just a little throat thing, but it was enough to not make the trip fun or my first week of school for that matter.

And we've finally moved in to our apartment! It took me a whole week because of classes, but it feels good. We have enough storage space which is nice. Our bathroom is a little sketchy and our kitchen is super skinny, and there's built in dressers in the living room instead of the bedroom, but all in all, the rent is cheap, and it came furnished.

I'm not taking an exercise, math, or science class this semester so that takes a huge stress off of me. (Not that I hate to exercise, it's just stressful as a class to me). I haven't been overloaded in homework so far. This is probably partly because I decided not to work this semester. Maybe next semester. We'll see. Bear's working in the cafeteria early in the morning when no one else wants to work, and then he gets it out of the way and his nights are off. He's not working next semester because of baseball, and so I might work...but I want to go to his games...and the money is nice but we can live without it...decisions, decisions.

I'm just happy to have my own kitchen and to use all my wedding gifts. I wrote down all my gifts, but I guess I was making stuff up in my head all summer, because I thought I was given things that clearly don't exist now that I've unpacked, and I've been pleasantly surprised with things I had forgotten about. I just made the BEST Thai coconut chicken for dinner tonight. I had plans to make dinner every night once I got to college. The reality of that is...I really only have time on Sunday. So my tummy is finally happy!

I like all my classes and teachers! I just love Southern Virginia University in general. My heart belongs to it. It will always be dear to me because it's where I met Bear, and had so many unexplainably happy experiences.

I'm taking:

• Health and Wellness
• Introduction to Music History
• Marriage and Family
• New Testament (for Institute)
• Western Civilization 2
• Political Philosophy
• Bella Voce (Womens' Choir)
• Group Voice
• Information Literacy (once a week)

I get to take Group Voice and Marriage and Family with Bear. What's funny, is we both signed up for that Marriage and Family class without talking to each other about it before hand. We were definitely meant to be :)

So, I'll post that delicious recipe next time. The pictures are from the school dance on Friday. It's was 90's themed. We hit up Goodwill of course. I swear my pink Levi's came up to my chest. Bear's pants were straight up purple and awesome.

So it was a crazy but good week. I'm glad to be settled. And we love our kitty because he's super silly, but doesn't scratch things, go to the bathroom in weird places, meow, or shed. He just makes us laugh. And Bear won't admit it, but I know he loves Bustard very much.

Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus

I keep reading long books with lots of information that are slow and I have to force myself to read them, but I always end up learning so much in the end and I'm glad that I did. My latest read is Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus. It was mentioned a lot in the book "Fascinating Womanhood", which I posted about HERE. Kate recommended it to me also.

All I can say, is it helped me a lot. I know that I'm still a little tiny baby newlywed with lots to learn still, and I haven't gone through all the hard stuff that comes along with marriage. But I'd rather read it now and try to apply it instead of waiting til it's too late.

I enjoyed this book because it looks into both genders, instead of just what women should do like in Fascinating Womanhood. It's written by a man, and he isn't blaming women for everything. Of course I didn't feel like everything he talked about applied to our relationship, but there was a lot of stuff that helped me, like how I need to leave Bear alone sometimes to be himself (men are like rubber bands) and that I'm not crazy for having my ups and downs, needing to talk about everything and just have a venting session every once in a while (women are like waves). It helped Bear to know that when I'm venting, I'm not blaming him, and that I feel much better when I just talk.

The other good thing was learning to ask Bear directly. "Would you take out the trash?" vs. "The kitchen stinks." Men and women each have their silly things, but like the author states at the end:

"Next time you are frustrated with the opposite sex, remember men are from Mars and women are from Venus. Even if you don't remember anything else from this book, remembering that we are supposed to be different will help you to be more loving. By gradually releasing your judgments and blame and persistently asking for what you want, you can create the loving relationships you want, need, and deserve."

I'm grateful I had a good marriage example from my parents and both sets of grandparents. Same with Bear's parents. I'm excited for all the fun years ahead. I am very in love.

*Life Update*

I'm supposed to give a sacrament meeting talk based on Elder Scott's talk, "The Eternal Blessings of Marriage" next Sunday, which will be out last in California. Secretly, I feel like a preschooler lecturing to college students how to do their physics homework. So I'm quite a bit nervous.

Also, I though I had appendicitis earlier this week, because I had pain on my right side. Bear's had his taken out and had a traumatic experience, and was really worried. We finally decided to go to the doctor, who didn't help us at all. The next step was the ER because we needed a CT scan to figure out whatever it was. We're trying to figure out our medical insurance mess, and the pain was dull, not sharp, so we decided to wait it out, I got a blessing that the pain would go away, and it did. I'm fine now. I think it was an ovarian cyst. The doctor did give me a pelvic exam though and said everything looked fine. So I'm back to normal after the scare.

Save Yourself

Sometimes I wish I could make a book about all the things Bear says without thinking. He's learning, but sometimes I have to wait for him to catch himself. I can't remember all of them, but here's one example:

Me: Do you think I'm cute? (jokingly)

Bear: If I didn't think you're cute, who would?

Me: ..........

Bear: I mean....if anybody should think you're cute, it should be me.

There you go. At least he saved himself a little. And of course he makes up for it with the times of "you look pretty when you sleep" and such. Men. Bahaha.

First Night Alone

I'm sure a few of you have seen this already, but I think it's super cute. It's an old picture of newlywed Elder and Sister Uchtdorf. It makes me happy.

Marriage in general makes me happy. This is me and Bear's first night away from each other. He's staying over for work. I was having my own little pity party about it this morning. (Just ask my mom. I'm known for whining and pity parties.) But then I got a slap in the face with a text from me Bear a little while later telling me that the fiance of one of his co-workers just had a still birth baby at 7.5 months. She was due in September. I've never gone through a miscarriage, let alone the normal pregnancy/delivery process. But my heart instantly hurt for her. I've only met her once, but I instantly wanted to do something for her. But I didn't want to make things worse. I felt her pain in a small degree. I had just been praying for an opportunity to help somebody too.

It put things into perspective for me. ("Right. Perspective." as Hermione says.) Yes, I miss Bear. But he'll come back soon.

The Prophet Joseph Smith taught wives that they should treat their husbands "with mildness and affection. When a man is borne down with trouble, when he is perplexed with care and difficulty, if he can meet a smile instead of an argument or a murmur - if he can meet with mildness, it will calm down his soul and soothe his feelings."

I'm trying to apply the above quote in my life. I really am happy being married. I love him. I hope that I don't sound like I'm trying to cover up an insecurity or prove that I have a better marriage than you. It's just that the best love story is your own, you know?

By the way, I know successful blogs are about a specific topic (antiques, photography, autism, entrepreneurs, thrift, just to name a few that I read). But I can't help myself. I can't stick to one topic. It's too boring for me. Hopefully it's not too all over the place for you.

Now go be happy for me.

Waterparks and Blankets

Bear's team got surprised by getting a half-day off to go to Hurricane Harbor at Six Flags. The company was going to pay for all the guys, and then me and Brandy were going to have to pay for ourselves. But it ends up it was cheaper to buy 10 group tickets, so me and Brandy were free too :)

I hadn't been to a big water park like that in a long time. We went on a Wednesday, so it wasn't very crowded at all and the weather was perfect. The guys wanted to go on really scary slides but I just went on a couple. They still filled me full of fright. They were pitch black. Which is not okay, because I'm terrified of the dark. And they weren't the tube kind. I couldn't tell where I was going, had no control over the super-speed, didn't know what the end of the slide looked like...technically, I thought I was going to die. Let's just say I was praying my little heart out. And I lived.

Surviving in a wave pool without a tube is quite the workout too. And I got a little more sun kissed. So I'm happy. I looked up the reviews for the park online before you went. There were so many negative and whiny comments! I had fun at the park. Yes, everything there was overpriced, but we just worked around it. Seriously, some of the things people were complaining about...sometimes it's embarrassing for me to be American. I hate whiny Americans. Why don't you go live in a third world country for a week and then come back to me and complain, huh? We don't always get what we want. I'm not saying Japanese people or any other peoples are saints either, but gosh. Sorry, it really does make me angry. Why can't people find joy in the simple things? Like that you're actually in a fun water park in the first place? I guess I whine about whiny people a lot. And I'm a whiner too. But I really am trying to work on it.

On another happy note, I have a problem with people stealing the blankets from me all night. Before it's my sister, now it's Bear. Being cold in the night wakes me up, and Bear weighs so much more than me and is too strong to pull the blankets from, so I always have to wake him up for them. Because I'm not sleeping cold. Nuh-uh. Well, I woke up that Wednesday with all the blankets. I finally was the blanket queen! But that meant that Bear had been cold all night. I asked him why he didn't steal them or wake me up. I would've understood! But he said I looked so peaceful while I was sleeping. :)

Oh, and it's 2 months from today will be my birthday!!!! I'm still like a little kid when it comes to birthdays

I Miss You

I don't have much to say. Except me and Bear's financial aid is finally done for school (and between my Marriott scholarship and Pell Grant, I don't have to pay any tuition. In fact, the school owes me money). And I'm not going to have to pay for the expensive dorms or expensive food plan. Blegh. So right now we're narrowing down our choices for an apartment. You are more than welcome to come stay with us by the way. It might be a one bedroom place and kind of squishy, but we like people. Come visit beautiful Virginia with us.

And I really really miss people. I had a meltdown on Sunday about it. I'm such a people person and I get so attached. So please be in my life.

♫ Where are you now?

Cause I´m thinking of you
You showed me how
How to live like I do
If it wasn´t for you

I would never be who I am ♫

- Where Are You Now by Honor Society

I'm glad that I have a Bear to keep me happy.

I love him

Reasons why I'm grateful for Bear this week:

1. He took me to Olive Garden (my favorite)
2. He loved me better when I woke up from a horrible dream
3. He offered to buy me a plane ticket home when I missed my family
4. He tried to let me win at Wii
5. He's going to go see the last Harry Potter with me.

So, I love him.

Fascinating Womanhood

I just finished reading Fascinating Womanhood by Helen Andelin. I got the inspiration to read it from Heather Ive's blog post, which you can read by clicking HERE.

The description of the book reads:
"A guide to a happy marriage. Teaches women how to awaken their husband's devoted love and tenderness. Gives insight into understanding men, their needs and feelings and what's important to them. Teaches the true meaning of femininity and how it differs from masculinity. Provides a role model for women to pattern from, the ideal woman from a man's point of view, the kind men adore. A classic best seller that has sold over two million copies. It has helped millions of women find true happiness in marriage and can do the same for you."


I know that this book makes some people absolutely livid. It is a feminist's worst nightmare. Now I don't agree with 100% of the book. And I feel like this book is more for people with a struggling marriage, but I know that me and Bear are a little more happy and I think it has very good advice. And I don't agree with people who told me to not read the book. If something is crude, profane, violent, or disgusting, I would let them stop me. But why not read a self-help book that's clean and full of information and then decide for yourself to follow it or throw the book against the wall?

I like that the book encourages me to be feminine. And Bear agrees with me on this one. There's a feminine strength that women have, but it's different than men, and that's okay. As a teenager I felt really insecure because I was short, not athletically inclined, and a little more girly than most of my friends. Boys would comment on it in a negative way which ran me down and I looked at the athletic girls and I felt like they had the boyfriends, popularity, and confidence. Now I realize there's nothing wrong with those girls if it makes them happy, and the boys' negative comments were just like them hitting me in first grade. That was what boys did, but they didn't mean to make me feel worthless or to be mean. Boys will be boys. I didn't need to base my self worth on other people. Girls, be happy with yourselves.

So does this mean I'm going to wear flowery dresses, an apron, pearls, and stay in my kitchen baking cookies all day? No. But it means I'm going to be happy that I'm a woman, that I'm married, and I'm going to do the best I can to make Bear and my future kids happy.

I recommend this book. Or The Fascinating Girl for single or dating girls. I have not read that one, but I heard it's good too. Now, I hate recommending self help books to people...because I hate it when people give them to me. ("You want me to change, huh? Well just because you gave me this darned book, I'm not going to read it.") i understand. It can feel a little offensive. But look into if you're interested. I suggest looking for any book on google shopping on the cheapest site you can find. That's my favorite right now. It's better than Amazon. Because I don't mind used books, but you might.

I love marriage so far. And I'm going to keep working at it.

A lot of people have told me on Facebook lately that they read my blog and enjoy it. It means a lot to me. Because I don't feel like I'm a good writer. i have a hard time expressing myself effectively through writing, or speaking for that matter either. It's my journal. I should have a written one all to myself, but I don't want to remember negative feelings. So thank you to all my readers again.

Los Angeles Temple

I went to the Los Angeles Temple with the Relief Society sisters in my new ward on Thursday morning. It was the first time I'd been to this temple and it was a wonderful experience. It's huge and gorgeous! Definitely before "mini temples". It was kind of weird not having Bear there but it was a great opportunity to go. I want to make a goal of going to the temple once a month, which will be tricky because Bear works so much and then we're pretty far from the Washington D.C. Temple at school too. But I'm determined. I miss my teenage days of hopping on the train on a random night to go to the Tokyo Temple, or walking down the street to the Nauvoo Temple. The temple is a lovely grand place. We should all go. Because it makes people happy. I'm happy that I'm sealed to my family forever. It's a good feeling, especially now as my grandpa passed away recently. It's a learning experience every time I go. Why is that we take them for granted when they're right next to us? Temples. Temples. Temples. I love them.

The paragraph above has no structure because the temple makes a million emotions and thoughts run through my head. To sum it up, it was worth getting married in the temple. In my grandma's dress. (We've almost been married for a month! Gah)

All Grown Up

Poor Bear. During his first week of work he was exhausted and would basically sleep his afternoon work break away. By Sunday, he was so fatigued, he wasn't functioning at church and he told me he had never been that tired - except after the first week of his mission.

Bear doesn't mind the sun and heat. This is the perfect temperature for him. But all the walking and the sun do wear you down eventually. He's been working so hard. But he's made his quota for the month, and he's doing very well for it being his first 2 weeks of his first summer working for Dewey. I'm proud of him. Even though he gets frustrated with himself.

Well I officially joined bank accounts with Bear, and got my own debit card. They automatically made me one with the same design as his - the SF Giants. Oh well. It could be worse. Obviously we didn't need to consolidate, but at this point 2 bank accounts sounds to complicated for me.

And..I cut Bear's hair for the first time. I didn't have any men's hair cutting shears, but he just needed a little trim. I'd never done anything like that before, but I watched a Youtube video and went to work. It turned out fine. (The picture above is before the trim). Luckily, he has curl to his hair, so even if my trimming is a little off, you totally can't tell.

And finally...I officially changed my last name. The social security office is right down the street and was surprisingly painless. It was free, I got to keep my old social security number (which I didn't know beforehand), and all I needed was my driver's license and wedding license. I didn't even need to wait for my parents to send me my birth certificate. And then we were stressed out, because we had been keeping the marriage license safe, but when we pulled it out the day of, we realized the temple took the certified one and we only had the one from the temple. The guy didn't say anything about it. Considering everything else in getting married and settling down is so expensive and stressful...it was nice I kept my middle name instead of my maiden name. Gah I'm crying about it right now. I'm so happy to be a Price now, but at the same time it's hard to let go of my name. I hate being conflicted.

But I officially kind of feel like an adult now.

So Cal

So I decided it's probably about to time to talk about California.

I feel really blessed in my situation. We had a one week road trip honeymoon from Nauvoo to So Cal. The driving wasn't so fun, especially in "My boy Tercel". Tercel is Bear's little '92 used-to-be-green-now-it's-faded-to-turquoise Toyota Tercel. It has no air conditioning, which I somehow didn't know beforehand and I've never really experienced before either. It was horrible whether there was humidity or not. But we had no car trouble and it was running great thanks to my dad's wedding gift of fixing up Tercel before we left.

We got to visit lots of people in Utah that weren't able to make it to our wedding. That was fun but surprisingly exhausting. The place we stayed at in Salt Lake was really sketchy. I took Bear shopping at the Gateway and bought him some basketball shoes and good walking/running shoes at Foot Locker, lots of cargo shorts for work from American Eagle, and a black Louisville slugger.

I still need to learn to drive Tercel because he's manual. And really old. He doesn't have too many miles on him though. He should be good for awhile.

We stayed on the Strip in Vegas. It was a place that had been renovated and wasn't as sketchy as the places around it, but it was in a sketchy part of town. I was afraid of getting an STD just from laying on our bed covers. We were lame and didn't see any shows are ride the stratosphere or go to the temple or anything. We went to a nice breakfast buffet and to Olive Garden with one of Bear's mission buddies who had just gotten engaged...and watched TV for the rest of the day. We were wasted.

Let me just say the Mojave desert is really ugly. And not fun to drive through with no AC. But we arrived in Lancaster late afternoon on Saturday. The Fredrickson's are very very nice and gave us homemade sushi for our first night there. I thought that was a very good sign. And there's so many nice places to eat here in Lancaster. I like how they eat on the West Coast much better. So we've already been to church in our new ward and Bear started work on Monday morning.

It's the kind of job that's good for him because he's a very hard worker and very driven. He's really good at following directions and he doesn't get his feelings hurt easily. I'll just have to buoy up his self esteem when sales aren't going as good as he'd like. He's gone from 8:30-1:30 and then gets a 2 hour break and then doesn't come back til 9 at night. He has to walk a few miles a day in the heat. Luckily heat doesn't effect him and the new shoes help his feet.

Our room is really nice and I will post pictures soon, when my camera cord gets here. Bear has to make 20 sales a month, but he only has to get 10 this month because it's a half month. I feel a little weird because I've either been in school or working or both and now I just get to relax all day. It's nice but hard to adjust to. Bear's been very good to me and besides the bladder infection (that healed up quickly) and random spurts of "adjustment" crying, I'm very happy.

Come visit us if you're going to Disney Land.

Life is good

Sometimes I miss my grandpa. But I'm proud of him. He was a good example and worked hard until the end. I'm really sad that I couldn't be there for the funeral. But my family recorded it and I'll get to listen to it soon.

The following pictures make me happy. I keep hearing even from church members how hard marriage is. I'm not naive enough to think I will be in utter bliss for the rest of my life. But can we be a little more positive here? I'm not worried. I'm hopeful and I know that married life will have to be something that I work at, but I know it will be very fulfilling and worth it.

I'm so grateful that Heavenly Father gave us emotions so that we could feel joy, even if it's not all the time.

Mia's birthday was on Friday. She's 10. Noah turned 7 today. I'm freaking out. They got their TOMS on time. Phew. Mine should be here tomorrow. I'm so exited!!! Oh and our cat had kittens at home today.

So yes, I have so much homework I think I'm going to die and I'm not getting enough sleep and I hate how much time wedding invitations are taking up, but life is so happy and good right now. The baseball team is at 26-5. They just beat a team that beat them earlier in the season. I'm happy all-around.

Aren't my grandparents the cutest? This picture would've been a year after they got married. I want to be cute like them.