Roman’s Birth Story

Each of my babies has a unique birth story. Roman is no exception. He was my first home birth AND first pain med-free birth. I kept repeating the mantra that what was supposed to happen would happen but the control freak side of me had a hard time giving up control when I went into labor. 

With this pregnancy I had Braxton Hick contractions from 18 weeks onwards, especially when I would go on walks. At my 39 week appointment, I was dilated to a 2 and was pretty effaced but my midwife wasn’t able to strip my membranes. I got so hung up on delivering on or very close to my due date because Lachlan was born naturally on his due date and Penelope was induced on her due date. I was due 9/1, which was the Sunday of Labor Day weekend. My mom drove up after work and arrived late Friday night. She even took Tuesday off of work and real labor never started. 

I was extremely disappointed that nothing happened the whole time my mom was there. Well…as far as labor was concerned. My mom churned out a ton of freezer meals and Orson broke his arm in Labor Day. I had had so much false labor for weeks. It was getting exhausting, plus the pelvic pressure was killing me. I kept swinging between being SUPER irritable (and thinking it was a sign that labor was very close) and feeling very calm and happy for a couple of weeks. I never thought I’d make it to the prenatal checkup that was scheduled 4 days past my due date. 

But there I was at my midwives’ office on 9/5. By that time, I was so emotionally and physically done and spent 45 minutes crying in front of my midwife and talking it out with her made me I realize that I’d been repressing a lot of feelings but had tricked myself into thinking that I was being “calm”. I was advised to just keep living life until I went into labor but I was getting tired of figuring out what was for dinner another night, or wondering if I sent Bear and the kids to an activity that they wouldn’t get back in time for the birth. For some reason I thought I was going to have precipitous labor this time (under 3 hours).  

As it turns out, it was not a precipitous birth but it still went pretty quick. My mom came the next weekend. We went shopping Saturday morning and early afternoon, and I was finally talked into taking castor oil. My mom and I went and bought that and mixed it with orange juice. I drank 2 TBSP of the oil mixed with orange juice at 5:00 pm on Saturday while Bear took the kids to the park. We ran to Hobby Lobby for craft supplies really quick afterwards but still nothing was happening. I started getting crampy at 8:00 pm and went on my nightly walk, but getting crampy on my walk was nothing new. I started timing contractions with an app after the walk and they weren’t dying off this time! I had opened the app hoping to time contractions several times in the last two weeks but I would realize that I was missing contractions here and there and it would always die off.

I texted over a screenshot of an hour worth of contractions to the midwives at 10:40 pm. They were anywhere from 3-7 minutes apart. My mom suggested calling them at 11:40 when I started pulling weird faces every time I had a contraction. Kendra and her assistant showed up a little after midnight. She had texted us saying we could get the birth pool blown up but not to fill it up yet. But I was starting to zone out and missed the part where it said not to fill it up yet  so we did, the water got cold before I was ready, and then our old water heater had to warm up more water. 

I labored in the bed for a little and when I was checked I was dilated to a 5/6. I didn’t like laboring in the bed without an epidural. So we moved to me sitting on the toilet or “dilation station”. This always sounded like a good idea when I heard about it during pregnancy but in reality it was really unpleasant. I had the hardest time keeping my feet flat on the ground like I was supposed to. But it did its job and got me to an 8. I had to wait in the bed and couch for a while until the birthing pool was the right temperature and that wasn’t my favorite but was definitely better than the toilet. Like in all my previous labors I threw up at this point.

I was SO happy to get in the birthing pool when it was finally ready. But it wasn’t doing as much for my back labor as I thought it would. Transition without pain relief is something else. I was determined to push him out in 15 minutes but I just kept watching the minutes pass by on the clock and he still wasn’t in my arms. I started pushing at 2:30 am. Kendra kept telling me that I just needed to get him out from under my pelvic bone and I was getting very frustrated that it was taking so long. I made some noises that surprised even myself and Kendra helped me save my voice by trying other things because I was screaming myself hoarse. I remember every crazy thing I said. “Am I going to die? I’m going to die. Please let me die!” I remember praying to let me die. Now that I’m sane again I’m grateful that prayer wasn’t answered.

The first 30 minutes of pushing were so long. The last 20 minutes went a lot faster as I turned into myself and stopped trying to run away from the pain. He came out posterior/sunny side up (face up) at 3:21 am and suddenly everything made sense. Kendra knew but didn’t want to tell me and freak me out because he was doing well. Every time I go back and watch the video of him crowning and me grabbing him onto my chest, I cry because of how gently the midwives were talking to me. So now I don’t know how much him being posterior affected my pain level vs if he had been facing the right way. The water was 101 degrees and I was so sweaty and getting dehydrated.  I had also never labored all night before and so I wasn’t used to being that sleepy. I kept asking to go to bed between contractions at the very end. 

I had a level 1 hemorrhage and I had to be given pitocin to deliver the placenta because it was taking too long. The best part was being able to get right into our own bed and not being woken up all night by nurses. I was falling asleep during the discharge instructions but luckily Bear was wired and listened to the end. The midwives did a load of dishes and laundry before they left. I was so grateful that my mom got to be there too. The first couple of days postpartum I felt like I’d been hit by a bus, but now that we’ve hit the 2-week mark I’m feeling pretty good.